Pauljac49

THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR YOUR RESPONSES AND HUGS,  I APPRECIATE IT SO MUCH KNOWING THAT I CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON YOU TO HELP ME THROUGH THE ROUGH PERIODS.   I WENT TO THE BAT MITZVER PARTY YESTERDAY. ...

I WENT TO THE PSYCHIATRIST LAST WEEK.  AFTER WE SPOKE SHE LOOKED AT ME AND SAID HOW SORRY SHE WAS THAT MY JACKIE SUFFERED SO MUCH PAIN IN HER LIFETIME AND THAT SHE THINKS SHE DID PLAN THIS FOR A...

I HAVEN'T BEEN ON FOR A WHILE AND I JUST WENT THROUGH SOME OF THE JOURNALS AND RESPONSES.  OH, HOW MY HEART BREAKS WHEN I READ SOME OF THEM.  AND THEN THE RESPONSES ARE SO UPLIFTING.  THE SUPPORT...

This roller coaster that I am on is going to be the death of me.  I told my sister today that if I should die of a heart attack to please tell my son, that I love him so much and that it was just a...

GM, everyone,I finally got some answers I have been looking for.  Although, Jackie did not come through for me, this was so uplifting and inspirational.  He was so on the money with the people who...

I HAVEN'T WRITTEN A JOURNAL FOR A WHILE BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN BUSY MOVING MORE STUFF INTO MY NEW HOME WITH MY SISTER, GOING TO P.T., SEEING MY DOCTORS AND SO ON. LAST WEEK, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT,...

The last couple of weeks have been confusing. I don't know what is happening to me all of a sudden. At first I felt like I came out of a fog and I just started missing Jackie more. I was crying...

I went to the psychologist at the Hospital for Joint Desease yesterday for my clearance for surgery. My sister and best friend came with me. Naturally, as soon as he started talking about Jackie...

My emotions are all over the place lately. I know I must go on with my life and every day is a struggle. There are moments when Jackie is not even in my thoughts. I have to go for knee surgery, a...

Yesterday I woke up to the scent of my daughter's cologne. I just laid there for a few seconds breathing it in and then nothing. I know I wasn't dreaming this. Is it because I miss her so much or...

July 24th was Jackie's 31st birthday and the first time I went to visit her at the cemetary. I didn't want to go until her name was on the stone. She is buried with my Aunt. I was going regardless...

I am anticipating Sun with such anxiety. I have been staying on the Xanax and it has been helping me function. As I have said before I just do things because I have to. When I stay busy there are...

I went to my meeting on Tues. night. There are members there that have been going for years. They say they are there to help others, but are they really? I have to wonder if this is my new normal....

I am not having a good day today. I woke up at 7 a.m. and turned on the t.v. and started to doze off. I heard Jackie's voice. She said "MOM". I know I didn't imagine it. I can't even dream of...

I wish Jackie could have been here for this. My daughter was gay. She would have been so happy New York legalized gay marriage. When she first came out I had such a hard time. I thought my world...