I BELIEVE
A FEW MINUTES AGO I ANSWERED TERI'S JOURNAL "BELIEVE". TOO MANY THINGS HAVE BEEN HAPPENING LATELY AND I REALLY DIDN'T THINK ABOUT IT BEING JACKIE. I SORT OF DID, BUT WASN'T TRUELY CONVINCED. I AM NOW.
LET ME START WITH I HAVE BEEN HEARING MAYRA CARY'S "HERO" AND "VISION OF LOVE", BOTH SONGS HAD MEANING TO US. OF COURSE, I CRY, AND IT HAPPENS WHEN I'M OUT SO I TRY NOT TO BUT CAN'T HELP MYSELF. THEN LAST NIGHT MY CAT WAS LYING IN BED WITH ME AND KEPT LOOKING UP AT THE WALL. THERE WAS NOTHING THERE. HE DID IT A COUPLE OF TIMES SO I SAID "JACK" (I KNOW, IT WAS MY SISTER'S CAT AND SHE NAMED HIM JACK, LONG BEFORE MY JAC PASSED), HE TOOK TO ME IMMEDIATELY WHEN I MOVED IN WITH HER LAST YEAR AND HE IS MINE NOW. SO I SAID TO HIM "JACK, WHY YOU LOOKING UP DO YOU SEE JACKIE". THEN I THOUGHT 'STOP GAIL YOU ARE ACTING CRAZY. THEN AFTER I REPLIED TO TERI'S JOURNAL BELIEVE I TRIED TO DELETE IT AND WHEN I WOULD 'X' IT OUT IT WOULD KEEP COMING BACK. 'BELIEVE' STARING IN MY FACE. ABOUT FIVE TIMES. I EVEN SAID OUT LOUD TO MYSELF. WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS COMPUTER.
JUST 20 MINUTES AGO, I WAS EATING LUNCH, AND READING THE INSTRUCTIONS FOR "THE BULLET", I BOUGHT IT BECAUSE I JOINED WEIGHT WATCHERS. OUT OF THE CORNER OF MY EYE I SAW SOMETHING AND IT MADE ME JUMP AND YELL BECAUSE I GOT SO SCARED. NOW, PLEASE DON'T THINK I'M NUTS BECAUSE I ALREADY DO. IT WAS JACKIE WITH HER HEAD TILTED AT ME SMILING. FOR A SPLIT SECOND. DID I IMAGE THIS BECAUSE I WANT IT TO BE. I CAN'T STOP CRYING AND SHAKING. MY SISTER BELIEVES SO FAITHFULLY THAT THIS DID HAPPEN. I YELLED FOR HER TO COME IN BECAUSE I COULDN'T STOP CRYING AND SHAKING. SHE SAID "I TOLD YOU". SHE IS HERE WITH YOU AND ALWAYS WILL BE. WHY AM I FIGHTING THIS. WHY IS IT SO HARD FOR ME TO BELIEVE IT. I KNOW I JUST SAW HER BUT MY LOGICAL MIND IS TELLING ME ITS BECAUSE I WANT IT TO BE HER. SOMEONE JUST LOOKED AT ME FOR A SPLITE SECOND IT WAS JACKIE..... TALK TO ME MY SISTERS, TELL ME I'M NOT GOING CRAZY.
LET ME START WITH I HAVE BEEN HEARING MAYRA CARY'S "HERO" AND "VISION OF LOVE", BOTH SONGS HAD MEANING TO US. OF COURSE, I CRY, AND IT HAPPENS WHEN I'M OUT SO I TRY NOT TO BUT CAN'T HELP MYSELF. THEN LAST NIGHT MY CAT WAS LYING IN BED WITH ME AND KEPT LOOKING UP AT THE WALL. THERE WAS NOTHING THERE. HE DID IT A COUPLE OF TIMES SO I SAID "JACK" (I KNOW, IT WAS MY SISTER'S CAT AND SHE NAMED HIM JACK, LONG BEFORE MY JAC PASSED), HE TOOK TO ME IMMEDIATELY WHEN I MOVED IN WITH HER LAST YEAR AND HE IS MINE NOW. SO I SAID TO HIM "JACK, WHY YOU LOOKING UP DO YOU SEE JACKIE". THEN I THOUGHT 'STOP GAIL YOU ARE ACTING CRAZY. THEN AFTER I REPLIED TO TERI'S JOURNAL BELIEVE I TRIED TO DELETE IT AND WHEN I WOULD 'X' IT OUT IT WOULD KEEP COMING BACK. 'BELIEVE' STARING IN MY FACE. ABOUT FIVE TIMES. I EVEN SAID OUT LOUD TO MYSELF. WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS COMPUTER.
JUST 20 MINUTES AGO, I WAS EATING LUNCH, AND READING THE INSTRUCTIONS FOR "THE BULLET", I BOUGHT IT BECAUSE I JOINED WEIGHT WATCHERS. OUT OF THE CORNER OF MY EYE I SAW SOMETHING AND IT MADE ME JUMP AND YELL BECAUSE I GOT SO SCARED. NOW, PLEASE DON'T THINK I'M NUTS BECAUSE I ALREADY DO. IT WAS JACKIE WITH HER HEAD TILTED AT ME SMILING. FOR A SPLIT SECOND. DID I IMAGE THIS BECAUSE I WANT IT TO BE. I CAN'T STOP CRYING AND SHAKING. MY SISTER BELIEVES SO FAITHFULLY THAT THIS DID HAPPEN. I YELLED FOR HER TO COME IN BECAUSE I COULDN'T STOP CRYING AND SHAKING. SHE SAID "I TOLD YOU". SHE IS HERE WITH YOU AND ALWAYS WILL BE. WHY AM I FIGHTING THIS. WHY IS IT SO HARD FOR ME TO BELIEVE IT. I KNOW I JUST SAW HER BUT MY LOGICAL MIND IS TELLING ME ITS BECAUSE I WANT IT TO BE HER. SOMEONE JUST LOOKED AT ME FOR A SPLITE SECOND IT WAS JACKIE..... TALK TO ME MY SISTERS, TELL ME I'M NOT GOING CRAZY.
Replies
You are NOT GOING CRAZY. In the past weeks, I\'ve seen my daughter for three seconds three times; okay, I was in bed and asleep and dreaming, but each time the dream just slammed shut, I heard a \"click\" on my right and looked and she was there. Three times now. My friend Carolyn has seen her husband three times when she was fully awake and on her feet. I had a vision in church two weeks ago, I thought I was going crazy. I was fully awake, kneeling in the pew, and suddenly I was in this horrible situation as if dreaming but I was not asleep and I am not crazy. I saw what I saw. When I told Father Bill, he started to cry! He said I had a legitimate vision! YOU SAW YOUR DAUGHTER, she\'s older than April, she\'s learning fast how to communicate with you. I\'m waiting for my daughter to \"catch up\", I even suggested people she should talk to on how to communicate in a way I can\'t ever deny (even though I don\'t deny the legitimacy of the visions I\'ve had of her). YOU saw her, animals are HIGHLY attuned, the cat \"sensed\" her. BRAVO AND ALLELUIA!
Oh no, dear friend, you are NOT crazy!!!! I have chills reading this and I totally believe and accept that Jackie visited you. Our \"intelligent\" human brains often get in the way of truth. Talk to Jac, ask her about the visit, then listen..... She will answer! It may come as a peace that enters your heart and mind, or you may find something in a strange place that you\'d forgotten or lost long ago that has a special meaning for the two of you, or it could be as another bold, in your face, no way you\'re gonna miss this message mom, message from her. I always say THANK YOU KALA whenever she visits or \"winks\" at me. I believe the more I thank her and tell her to keep coming around, the more she does. I\'ve told her I\'m not afraid of seeing her, or touching her, or hearing her, or knowing she is with me....that I need these things. She does a great job....and sounds like Jac does too!! WooHoo!
The very first time Kala spoke to me I convinced myself it wasn\'t real...that I was hearing her because I wanted to hear her. Well, duh! Of course I wanted to hear her! I\'d kept saying over and over and over I just needed to know she was OK. So, what were her first words to me......\"I\'m OK mom, I\'m OK\"! Easy enough to talk myself out of, to say oh it\'s just me, just my mind wishing. Later, after more and more amazing things happened, I figured she must have gotten pretty ticked that after me begging to know she was OK, and her figuring out how to communicate and tell me, that I \"logically\" pushed it aside and didn\'t recognize her. I think it must be as hard for our kids to learn this new way of communicating as it is for us. I think they get frustrated when they keep trying so hard and we keep saying OH, it\'s just me. I can just hear Kala screaming....NO MOM, IT\'S ME! LISTEN UP! hahaha!
Just recently Joanie (LivingJuicy) shared how her granddaughter (about 4 I think) came into the house and said that uncle Doug had been there but \"this time\" she didn\'t see him!!! I mean, how amazing is that! The little ones seem to be much more accepting of the truth of visitation and communication than us older, \"wiser\", people!
Thank you Jackie for being so close to your mom and working so hard to communicate with her. Help her to learn the language....to listen and to understand and to find the joy in the experience of talking to you.
No, these are visits! Jackie is trying to communicate to let you know she is with you. Of course the logical mind wants to try to talk you out of it yet be reassured that she is trying her best.
I think our children try to find ways that will speak only to us whether it\'s with numbers, songs, a fragrance, an object that is found... my son turns my hospital pager that I have to wear at work from the totally \"Off\" position to on. He has done this half a dozen times and just last night my husband and I heard something and sure enough it was my pager that has been off in the kitchen drawer. It was very timely because I had spent the morning with his girlfriend sharing breakfast, hugs, laughter and tears. I just know with all my heart he was saying that he knew we had been together and was glad...
You are not going crazy and always remember to thank Jackie! That is something I try to do when these little winks happen and I always confirm to Doug that I get it and I am so grateful that he visits.
In gratitude for your sharing and hope you find comfort in knowing that Jackie is with you. I know not in the earthly sense that we son long for yet doing her very best... Bet she\'s been thrilled too with your new tat and has been checking that out! :)
Gentle care this day and may many more Jackie happenings be yours...
Love and hugs,
Joanie
If you would like,,,on Saturday nights I play in a resturant,,,I play several songs for differnet moms\' angels....I would love to add \'Hero\" to my list for your Jackie......
That is what I have been doing at certain signs, pushing them aside, thinking, this can\'t be. I\'m imaging what I want to see and hear. But no more, my baby came to me. I am going to accept what I saw. It was a very faint vision but she was wearing her blue and white checkered shirt. This is what I needed to let me know I can go on. My conversations with her at night before I go to sleep, or when I\'m in my car by myself, maybe that is what prompted this. I write her letters when I\'m down because it makes me feel as though she is still here. I am so blessed that I found all of you. No one could ever understand or believe what I saw on Thurs. It was a miracle. I felt a presence and jumped from being startled and looked over and there she was but its so hard to explain it was so faint, but her smile was just unbelievalble. I can\'t stop crying from happiness. An emotion that I thought I would never feel again. Thanks for all your support, Love & Hugs to all my Sisters and our children. XXXX OOOO Gail
I am wishing and hoping Jenn will come visit me... I have had my Mom come and talk to me (heard her voice and smelled her perfume) and we know she had been at the house while my dad was still there (a story I will share sometime). Enjoy your visit with Jackie ! Don\'t fight it.
MaryLou
Gail, Believe and enjoy the visits, signs and winks. I believe when Eddie visits that these are gifts from God and my son. The love Jackie has for you and you for her endures and nothing can stop that connection. I am so happy for you! Love, Linda