FEELING BETTER
THANKS EVERYONE FOR YOUR WELL WISHES. I AM FEELING BETTER, MOVING AROUND MORE. I JUST COULDN'T STAY IN BED ANYMORE AND I HAVE TO GET UP AND OUT A LITTLE. SO I'M GOING FOR MY TATTOO TOMORROW.
ITS A DOUBLE HEART MADE WITH ROSES AND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SMALLER HEART IT SAYS "JAC" I ALWAYS CALLED JACKIE "JAC" THEN ON THE OUTSIDE IT SAYS" "BEST FRIENDS FOREVER"AND ON THE BOTTOM IT SAYS "I LOVE YOU MORE"... WHENEVER JACKIE SAID MOM I LOVE YOU, WHICH WAS ALMOST EVERY DAY, I WOULD SAY "I LOVE YOU MORE".
I WROTE HER ANOTHER LETTER THE OTHER NIGHT. SOME PEOPLE MIGHT THINK I'M NUTS BUT EVEN THOUGH I CRY MY EYES OUT WHILE I'M WRITING, IT DOES MAKE ME FEEL BETTER. I TELL HER EVERYTHING THATS GOING ON AND HOW MUCH I MISS HER AND LOVE HER. I GUESS ITS LIKE THERAPY FOR ME. AS IF SHE WERE STILL HERE.
ITS JUST SO WIERD HOW WE HAVE TO FACE EVEYDAY WITH THE LONGING AND ACHE TO SEE OUR CHILD AGAIN. BUT YET THE DAYS GO BY AND I AM STILL HERE. AMYWAY, I WANTED TO LET YOU ALL KNOW HOW MUCH YOU MEAN TO ME. YES, GOING TO THERAPY CAN HELP BUT THIS MEANS MORE TO ME. ALL OF YOU, YOU KNOW WHAT I FEEL, YOU KNOW HOW I ACHE, YOU KNOW THE PAIN, AND I SO WISH THAT WE DIDN'T MEET THIS WAY. BUT I AM SO GRATEFUL THAT I HAVE ALL OF YOU. LOVE YOU ALL, GAIL
ITS A DOUBLE HEART MADE WITH ROSES AND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SMALLER HEART IT SAYS "JAC" I ALWAYS CALLED JACKIE "JAC" THEN ON THE OUTSIDE IT SAYS" "BEST FRIENDS FOREVER"AND ON THE BOTTOM IT SAYS "I LOVE YOU MORE"... WHENEVER JACKIE SAID MOM I LOVE YOU, WHICH WAS ALMOST EVERY DAY, I WOULD SAY "I LOVE YOU MORE".
I WROTE HER ANOTHER LETTER THE OTHER NIGHT. SOME PEOPLE MIGHT THINK I'M NUTS BUT EVEN THOUGH I CRY MY EYES OUT WHILE I'M WRITING, IT DOES MAKE ME FEEL BETTER. I TELL HER EVERYTHING THATS GOING ON AND HOW MUCH I MISS HER AND LOVE HER. I GUESS ITS LIKE THERAPY FOR ME. AS IF SHE WERE STILL HERE.
ITS JUST SO WIERD HOW WE HAVE TO FACE EVEYDAY WITH THE LONGING AND ACHE TO SEE OUR CHILD AGAIN. BUT YET THE DAYS GO BY AND I AM STILL HERE. AMYWAY, I WANTED TO LET YOU ALL KNOW HOW MUCH YOU MEAN TO ME. YES, GOING TO THERAPY CAN HELP BUT THIS MEANS MORE TO ME. ALL OF YOU, YOU KNOW WHAT I FEEL, YOU KNOW HOW I ACHE, YOU KNOW THE PAIN, AND I SO WISH THAT WE DIDN'T MEET THIS WAY. BUT I AM SO GRATEFUL THAT I HAVE ALL OF YOU. LOVE YOU ALL, GAIL
Replies
Glad you\'re feeling better my friend,and I hope it continues. The new tat sounds perfect for you and I\'m smiling thinking about it. I totally get the need and the therapy behind writing to Jackie....makes complete sense to me!! I talk out loud to Kala...even if someone is watching or listening....when I\'ve got something to tell her I just blurt it out. Some may think that\'s crazy, but I know the truth.....Talking to Kala keeps me sane!! Love you my friend and you keep right on doing what you\'re doing that helps you~~Teri.
Good luck with the tattoo - I keep wanting to get one but I don\'t know where to put it !!
Please post a pic of your tat!! love to see it!
Can\'t wait to see the tattoo!
I agree ~ writing, journaling, keeping our angel children up to date with our everyday doings ~ best therapy there is! I always, always feel cleansed, purified and refreshed after a good cry and/or talk with Corrie.
Good to hear you\'re feeling better ~ with much love to you and Jackie ~ Debbie
I\'m thinking of a tattoo myself. I have a friend whose son took his life four years ago. She has a tattoo on the inside of her left wrist with his name only, \"Michael\". Must have hurt to have it put there, all those tiny bones. I\'m thinking of a rosebud (that word has special significance for me) and my daughter\'s name. It will be quite small so I need to find someone who is really an artist. I think I\'ll wait to have it done until I come back from my spiritual pilgrimage in October. Take a pic of your new tattoo, can\'t wait to see it. And no it\'s not weird writing to Jac. You can talk to her, too. Death isn\'t what some think it is, friend.
Jill
This site has been my life line also. I don\'t know how I would have survived this past year without my FMO sisters. I think it\'s wonderful that you are getting this tattoo and no none of us here think it\'s weird that your write letters to Jackie. I think we all do that. It is therapy for us, but I also believe that our loved ones see the letter we are writing.
Sending love, Terry
The tattoo and letter I think are both wonderful ways of keeping in touch with our kids, especially in the beginning of this journey or whenever we feel like it. THis is what it is all about - do what is best for you and you will have our encouragement and support as who knows what is real and what is best. Surely not I. Above all, be good to yourself and feel the strength that our children are trying to send to us. We definitely need it. Your friend, BarbaraWawa
Gail, I am glad you are feeling better and the tattoo will be neat! Nice idea. I also write letters to my son and I often leave letters and cards at Ed\'s grave. Somehow I believe our words find their way to Heaven. Much love to you and Jackie, Linda