eshaw
Status: Doing well, ups and downs, such is life. Sober and healthy, working on happiness.
Mood:
Ok
Offline
- Hi friends. Sorry I've been gone so long. I'll share a little of what's been going on. In September my weight was dropping and I was using appetite suppressing drugs to further my weight loss. I was extremely depressed and anxious and I was...
- I haven't had time, or had access to a computer much since October 1st so rather than replying individually I wanted to thank all of you who have messaged me or reached out to me. It really means a lot to me. Thank you, each of you. I have gained a...
- I have been in the psych ward and rehab for my ED and substance abuse issues. I appreciate all the messages, hugs and encouragement I've received while I've been away. I walked out against clinical advice on Wed due to severe anxiety and anger...
- Still waiting to hear from my tx team about psych ward. I am really depressed, anxious, having chest pain and shortness of breath when I do small activities. I know its the ED, and I feel powerless and hopeless. Everyone is angry at me, "you need to...
- I had a really aweful day on Friday and over the weekend trying to help my friend who broke her back. I have a lot on my plate and no one to talk to so I decided to post tonight. I'll do my best not to trigger anyone. On Friday I met with a new...
- I have had panic attacks many times in the past 25 years. But I have never had one so severe I didn't feel it coming on. All I felt was intense chest pain, dizziness, shortness of breath and severe shaking I couldn't stop. My friend was convinced I...
- I have managed to maintain my weight for 2 weeks, but its been SO hard eating! I am still stuck at a number that I realize is unhealthy, 20 lbs under my weight range for my height. I thought once I got here my ED would let up, that it'd be...
- I have remained friends with my ex for 3 years. This person helped raise my daughter for 8 years. This person is my daughters parent and I respect and love this person with all of my heart. I ended the relationship because I didn't feel this person...
- It has been a difficult day. So many suicidal urges and thoughts and a wave of depression and pain so intense I felt it in my chest. I wanted to numb out, escape, all day long. I slept most the day away. When I woke up I couldn't handle the...
- Today I have two birthday parties, and I'm so nervous and sick to my stomach. The first, with my nephew from my "foster family". He begged me to come and I usually avoid his family but I couldn't say no. So I have to show up, smile, support him, and...
- What you do when you hit rock bottom? When you don't want to burden your family or few close friends with everything that is too overwhelming to place on anyone else. When you no longer know yourself, and you survive, at whatever cost it has on your...
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xo1VInw-SKc&fb_action_ids=10207157506402567&fb_action_types=og.shares&fb_source=other_multiline&action_object_map=%5B1124383634253712%5D&action_type_map=%5B%22og.shares%22%5D&action_ref_map=%5B%5D Hope this link...
- A Love Letter to My Patients in Early Recovery from AnorexiaBy Every Woman Has..., Fri, May 22, 2015 You recently accused me of wanting you to be fat. Here's what I've been thinking. . . . Long after we part ways, I'll remember the sound of your...
- I went to the doc office today and not sure what I weighed in at, but sure I haven't lost enough to satisfy my ED. I ate 3 graham crackers today, ate quite a bit yesterday and the day before, leaving my stomach bloated and in knots. But I've been...
- I just got off a chat with a suicide help line. Talking about my hopelessness helped for a few but I'm really struggling again. I have so much pain I haven't dealt with and even the alcohol isn't numbing me out tonight. I want desperately to give...