eshaw
Status: Doing well, ups and downs, such is life. Sober and healthy, working on happiness.
Mood:
Ok
Offline
- I went to a counselor today. She inquired about my drinking, I told her about 4 beers a night. She informed me she doesn't think I have an ED, that as soon as I cut down my drinking my eating will improve. I told her to call the ED clinic who...
- I saw my MD today. I am so grateful I have a doctor who is supportive and understands ED's. She described an ED as a room full of tons of people on one side of a room yelling at you, "You're so fat, so disgusting, UGLY, stupid, etc." and on the...
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DDK5qGlLT8s&feature=share What depression has been like for me for 20 years. Does this resonate with anyone else?
- I am sick with guilt today for not calling my dad on father's day. I posted on his fb instead, because I was anxious about calling him. I feel terrible. He lives in another state and I only see him a few times a year if that. We've never been close...
- I found out today that an old friend committed suicide. She was an amazing veterinarian, and mother of 3 girls. They are devastated. I have been struggling big time with suicidal thoughts and this was a big wake up call. I pray that all of you who...
- I am struggling with tx resistant major depression and my doc prescribed Abilify. He didn't tell me it causes severe weight gain. After I read that I reduced my dose, when that wasn't helping my depression I started taking it as prescribed, but cut...
- My med change is no longer helping. I'm frustrated with meds. I'm back to drinking nightly for relief. Side-effects from meds are terrible. I wake up every night drenched and freezing, and graphic bad dreams. I was so excited I had about 4 days...
- My doc finally believed my MDD was not improving and added abilify to my max dose of Cymbalta. So far I've been able to get out of bed, find motivation and feel more alive than I've felt in 3 years. I hope this lasts and does not give me false hope...
- I have been in a constant state of hopelessness, lack of energy, lack of motivation, lack of desire, no livelihood, and no desire to give all it takes to really live. Ever since a relationship ended, I lost my house, and dropped out of school, and...
- I'm extremely frustrated tonight, its my moms birthday and I forced myself to be present and hang out with her all day. I live in her basement. Pretty humiliating, but it is what it is at the moment. I totally love my mom, but all day I just wanted...
- Tonight my mom invited my daughter and I to a buffet. Oh, man, I forced myself through it but the feelings are overwhelming. I did it anyway. So, we get home and my daughter has a huge chocolate addiction. She has grabbed two bags of cookies, trying...
- I am freaking out a little because I posted something on social media that exposes me, makes me vulnerable. But I am tired of being ashamed of who I am and want my mom to know how much I truly value her. I copied it so I can get your opinions on...
- This is somewhat off topic, but it's mothers day weekend and I just wanted a place I can share my gratitude tonight. My daughter had her spring dance recital, and as always she danced her heart out. I am so proud of her, and she knows it. Anyhow, we...
- I am in a weird place tonight, maybe its because I'm at a crossroads in my life. Unsure if I want to keep trying. I just facebooked my dad, we only speak a few times a year but for some reason I felt compelled to admit how much I love him. I told...
- I got a few hugs today that made my day. :0) Thank you! It is a good week. I'm enjoying my last week working with women addicts in treatment. I really love it and was offered a job but I can't deal with the crazy anxiety I feel so I turned it down....