serenity92580
Status: "It's not about how hard you can hit, it's about how hard you can get hit- and keep moving forward." -Slyvester Stallone, Rocky Balboa
Mood:
Ok
Offline
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Yesterday was a trying day for me. I wrote my father a letter telling him everything he did to me and telling him I won't take it anymore- I fully plan to discuss that in another entry but for now...
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I used to think that if someone loved me enough then they'd automatically understand every single one of my defense mechanisms and do everything to make me feel loved- even if that meant that they...
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I think that every time you lie to protect people that hurt you you give a little piece of your soul away. Little by little until you look in the mirror one day and barely recognize yourself. ...
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I'm pissed off that if even have to write this. It was a good day. I got a lot done. I'm about to unwind before I go to bed. 2 fucking drunk people pissed me off today. My ma who is just a...
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I spent so many years of my life crucifying other's for the shitty way they treated me. Now they had no right to hurt me- that's true. But I had no right to stick around and try to change them. It...
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The reality I'm scared to face1. Living at home w my ma and abusive brother. Not having a place of my own and knowing that it will be at least several months before I can afford one2.The fact that I...
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Other reasons why I don't want to smoke:1. When I smoke I spend a lot more time at home and being home means I deal w everyone's destructive/shitty behavior which makes my life seem endlessly...
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I talked to my brother a little while ago. I was at the mall getting a hair cut and he called. He had already called about 5 times but I didn’t get the call. Anyway- he wanted something. You always...
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Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I have a choice today. I could get hIgh. I could stay sober. Staying sober means a lot of emotion bc I haven't had a sober day in a while so a lot...
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You know what just occurred to me? I used to be strong. Emotionally strong. I used to enjoy life. It was hard, yes- but I had fucking fun. I was thinking back to when it all changed, when I gave...
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Sometimes when I look in the mirror and see how fat I’ve become I just want to kill myself. Don’t get me wrong- I wouldn’t do it- but that’s how I feel. No matter how great I feel about...
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I'm a journal writing freak today.I feel like I'm 15 and reliving this again. I just heard a song- there are so many- where the underlying story is that there is a lot of love there but the 2 just...
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It's amazing how much room angst takes in out lives. And by angst I mean anything that isn't pleasant. It's an all encompassing term. Once I let it out- all the anger I've been holding in for...
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4/28I wish closure meant that the pain just left. I've said all I have to and now I'm just left with the hurt that remains. I miss him. I wish reality wasn't what it is. I wouldn't turn back the...
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So after I cried for about 6 hours straight yesterday I wrote him a letter. Well- I did the modern version of writing a letter- I sent him a message on FB. Here it is:"There are some things I...
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