Ellocin

So far not feeling too bad today...and I'm actually going to be heading out to my parents for the day/night like I've been telling them all week.  Besides I desperately need to do laundry and you...

I don't want to complain...but this just hurts.  I'm so tired of the effort it even takes to breath and I just feel like my body is lead and so uncooperative.  It was all I could do to get a shower...

Today I haven't even really been up and I am feeling the depression so heavy today I just want to scream and hide from the world.  I am trying to pray and to seek my Daddy's face but I can't seem to...

Okay...so now I'm confused. So in my Broken and Torn entry yesterday I wrote about the messages I thought I was getting and that I mentioned them to this person and we were both going to pray on...

Okay, I don't know if God is trying to tell me something or not but I'm awake again after less then 3 hours of sleep feeling basically like I've slept all night.  If He has a message for me I am not...

I don't know if the Lord is sending me the messages I am getting or if it is attacks from Satan.  I'm feeling that I am to distance myself from a person who I have been clinging to for guideance in...

I didn't want to believe until my Pastor said that it could be the depression that is why I am feeling so lost.  But what he said made sense and helped bring a little bit of calm back into my...

Decided the best way for me to write in my journal today is just copy and paste today's email communication I've had with my pastor.  I will edit out both of our names to just our first initial....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRWWat_cfeY The words in this song (well, the words as they are in English, I can't read the captions) are how I want to feel with God, but as it stands right now, I...

So I decided if God doesn't want me and wants to turn his back on me like he did the other day...then why do I want him.  I don't want a friend who hurts me like that...I"m better off with no...

Copied this from an email I got.  It made me laugh, hoping it does you too!    One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the...

i think I figured out part of why I can't find Him again. First, I never realized how mad I was at God for yesterday and all the feelings because of that. Mad because I couldn't find Him, mad He...

Yesterday I was feeling awful and lost.  In an attempt to get away from those feelings I over medicated.  Used Ativan to knock me out through the day....and took a little extra of my sleeping meds...

had a really good weekend and really got to spend some good quality time with my heavenly Daddy....but today I am feeling like a kid lost in a department store...an empty one at that...screaming and...

Today is another day of trudging throuh molasses.  At least I finally had my shower but it was kind of pointless...feeling all gross and sweaty again now.  Didn't even realize we were so low on...