Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group
Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.
Hi everybody, as most of you know I am starting my PMO streak again after 60 successful days going smoothly. The fact that i relapesed was a devastating event for me and something I was really upset about it which i know doesnt really make sense as it was ultimately my choice to do this and i understand there are no excuses for the person i became in that moment. In order to not be stuck in the past and consumed by the mistake, i have reawakened hope for myself and others because i am not the addiction.
I decided to make this second post about checking in everyday because I know one already exists. I think it would be nice to expand on that as we really are in all of this together, holding and supporting each other. I used to go on this website everyday and in the begining of September i got too busy so i didnt check in for the longest time and I know that disconnect and loss of motivation from others was exactly what made me relapse. That is why i decided to check in everyday to mark my progress, no matter how busy i am or how small the post is. I encourage others to use this post too and hopefully this will become second nature to me. This is just one small road bump in a future that will be full of nothing but successes, freedom and happiness.
I decided to make this second post about checking in everyday because I know one already exists. I think it would be nice to expand on that as we really are in all of this together, holding and supporting each other. I used to go on this website everyday and in the begining of September i got too busy so i didnt check in for the longest time and I know that disconnect and loss of motivation from others was exactly what made me relapse. That is why i decided to check in everyday to mark my progress, no matter how busy i am or how small the post is. I encourage others to use this post too and hopefully this will become second nature to me. This is just one small road bump in a future that will be full of nothing but successes, freedom and happiness.
Just one more thing, I personally think that asking Shanas to share her darkest secrets is extremely innappropriate given that she is not an addict but the wife of one but more important, it has no place here in a forum such as this.
Incidentally, now that I am sober, I have no challenges to overcome because to me they are opportunities for growth.
Wolf (5 and 1/2 years sober)
By the way, this forum has no moderator sad to say and DS really doesn't seem to care who posts what here. We are all responsible for our own behavior and we are all responsible to others in the forum. You are expected not to offend anyone with your behavior.
If there are any good points in your posts they get lost amongst the dark and disturbing things you write about which again lead me back to the fact that you need help desperately, much more than you could ever get from any forum.
Your behavior has driven everyone else away from you and you are further isolating yourself from humanity. You are digging much deeper into your addiction rather than trying to be sober and in recovery.
I have no anger or resentment toward you. I feel deeply sorry for you and I pray for your soul. In you is a perfectly loving young child who you abandoned a very long time ago. You must find your way back to that loving child and learn to care for him in a way which he so much deserves and has been waiting for. Just remember that every time you act out, it is he who is being hurt, not me, not Wolfie, but him.
Good luck to you. I wll leave this thread to you in the hopes that you will eventually find something meaningful to say to others.
I stay true to my contention and disagreement.
I am going to continue to participate whether people understand or not. Two spouses of sex addicts and a person who doesn't believe in the 12 steps, granted they are concerned, just don't get it.
Today was a bit rough, I was harmed I do agree by my posts today, the young child in me that needs to be nurtured I can accept, I supposed my raw writing and graphic statements don't symbolize gentleness, I do need help, and yes it will probably be outside this forum.
I can convince myself that what I write could harm others, and if that is the case I can stop, and I can put it in a private journal, I suppose I can just stick to positive things.
If I don't have anything positive to say I can just not say anything at all.
Good night.
Some example goals, that might be helpful for you - but take your own.
,
1. Computer usage to < 1 hr a day.
2. Spend atleast 1 hr a day helping others out (community, serving in a soup kitchen)
3. Keep a counter of how many depraved thoughts enter your mind a day, and try to keep reducing the number as goals.
4. Career development planning for 1 hour a day.
I can give you a huge list, but you have decided what your 1,3 and 5 year goals are and use your checkin to keep track of your progress on goals.
Hope you would take this recommendation, hope I see your goals and milestones and your progress towards them in your checkin posts.
Good luck!