Greg's right. All very similar stories, all very similar desires. You're in good company. Good luck with your journey. We're all behind you.

I echo the others' responses. I can't believe how EXTREMELY similar your reasons for lying are the same as mine. We're all here for you to listen, to provide our experiences and the things we're trying to do to stop lying. It's good to have others that share the same problem.

Keep in touch!

Paul

Hi, I'm Pat and I'm a liar. I've been lying for almost as long as I can remember. I've lied before about seeking help to stop the lying, but my efforts over the last few days are the first ones I've actually taken to help fix my problem. My girlfriend turned me onto this group through her random searching for a support network for myself and it seemed like a great place to join. I have gone one day without lying and I'm hoping to keep it up.

Welcome to the group here Pat. You have gone through one day without lying, and now you can work on the next, and then the next. This is the only way to do this. Each day is an attainable goal. Focus on the day at hand,and deal with any fall-out from previous lies as you can. If you stay focused on each day, and deal with consequences from past lies one issue at a time, it is not an overwhelming process. And just knowing that each honest day you have, means that you are not adding to the burden of issues arising form lying. Last night I had to deal, again, with the consequences of past lies, and how they have damaged, if not destroyed my marriage of 17 years. If I had to add the additional burden of new lies to this, I think it would defeat me. As it is now, it is very hard to remain positive at times. But knowing that you folks here share similar burdens and struggles, and aspire to the same goal, I draw strength from this. I also have come to believe that there is a Greater Power placing these choices in front of me, and that I must make the right choice. In the past I made choices based on fear and selfishness, and these choices proved to be poor ones indeed. Despite the fall-out from past lies, by choosing honesty and truth, I am improving the quality of my life. Sometimes this is not apparent at the moment, but given a bit of time, I am able to see the positive developments. At times this means having to let go of some things that were once part of my past life, and this is where the difficulties arise. But realizing that change can often be a vehicle for good things to happen ultimately, I can look ahead with a positive outlook. I hope all of you are enjoying this day of rest.

Day #2 here. This one was a bit harder. My girlfriend has been making a habit out of asking me if there is anything I want to talk to her about, kind of an opening for if I've thought of any past lies. I've been trying to come clean as much as I can. The only problem is that she has trouble trusting that I am being honest with her now. I can't say I blame her, since my dishonesty has been an ongoing issue for so long, but it's frustrating having to reassure her over and over again that there isn't anything I "want to talk about" from today. That, alone, would be enough to make me want to change, aside from all the other reasons. I desperately want to rebuild the trust I have so terribly ripped to shreds.

Trying to stop lying now for about 18 hours. I have totally lost the most important thing in my life, the woman who loved me. I have no one to blame but myself for my actions. I wish I could let her go because she deserves a lot better than me, but I am truly, madly in love with her. I want to stop lying so that even if she's moved on, she can see that as bad as I was, I tried to, and did get better for her.

I look through some of these posts and I see themes that seem to be similar to mine. I can't believe that I really didn't think I was a liar until today. Whatever other problems I have in life, I think they stem from this one. I have been lying to the woman I love and myself for years now. I want it to stop.

My goal is to stop lying, but if I slip and lie, I hope that I can post it here and people will hold me accountable for what I've done so I can stop. Just because I lie and get away wit hit doesn't mean that its "ok" to lie.
I know that it is easy to make this claims right away. I hope that I can keep this up on a daily (or almost daily basis) of "checking in".
I ask that the others on the board don't allow me to rationalize what I do and to help me be a better person. I'm not one who normally asks for help (I never ask for help) but I can't bear the thought of losing this woman and I will do whatever it takes to get her back. Ok, I've been rambling. Hope to check in tomorrow!

Hey Cubs, welcome. We'll hold you accountable, but we'll also offer support, share stories of our own lies, tell you that this journey isn't easy, and make sure we all have the strength to keep going. It's easy to rationalize our behavior, but it's also almost as easy to do the right thing when you know there are people supporting you and living the same life you're living yourself. I know it's cliche, and I say it all the time, but one day at a time, my friend. Thanks for joining.

Today's Monday. I'm here. Gone 8 days now without lying. Phew...

Thanks Solitary.
Made some rules for myself on what constitutes a "lie".
a. Anything that I would be ashamed to tell others if I got caught (lying to myself)
b. Outright lie
c. Anything that I would be ashamed to tell the woman I love if she found out.
I think that covers just about all of it. I'm not including "White Lies" because if a girl asks me "do i look fat?" i'm going to say "No!" under all circumstances.

1 day down no lies. Writing this stuff down and keeping myself accountable feels good.

I'm on day 3. I'm going to counseling tomorrow as another step in the recovery process.

I've been doing some research on things I can do to help myself get better, and I found out that there are groups called Emotions Anonymous, but sadly none in the Salt Lake area, anyone else in the area want to help me put one together?

Great to see several new folks here! It is always interesting to see different perspectives on our common problem. Hey Russ, atta go on the eight days. I am sure that today made number nine! To everyone else here, make the cliche 'one day at a time your mantra' to help you get through the toughest parts of this journey.

I guess this constitutes day 2 for me. Did not lie, though I almost did earlier today. Hope I can keep this up. Felt horrible today as my ex reached out to me, very lovingly, to see if I was ok, and I pushed her away because I don't want to hurt her again. I want to be with her, but I need to make sure that I won't hurt her anymore first.

Day 2 for me as well, no lies, a couple times I almost did but I never went through with it. feeling better about my likelyhood of success. Thanks for the great posts you all have done I've taken alot of advice from them.

I was given a good piece of advice today: Looking too far ahead is too much. Saying you'll take it week by week, day by day, or even hour by hour is too much. Focus on the now. If you're honest in the now, the rest follows.

Day 3 down. No lies. The weight of all that I've done to hurt people is bearing down on me now. I hope I have the strength to make it through this.

Sideshow - great advice!