Good morning all. Be kind to spiders, you scare the crap out of them. See how those tiny buggers run from you.

69 more days.

I need a hug. The last week I've been on such a hyper high I couldn't sit still and people even noticed and I just couldn't stop. Today I've crashed and burned and my head hurts so bad and I keep crying. I don't know how much is Graves or fatigue or fear or what. I just want some answers. Any answers. I feel so lost and without help in my health for so long.

Last friday at work I was so fed up with my boss and coworkers kicking down my hard work that I stomped back. I earned respect from my boss, but one coworker is steaming mad at me and won't talk to me. It was deserved but I still feel bad.


Hugs to you all. Hope you are faring well today.

@ Manny , fresh and shine is some powerful stuff. So when you go to spray that little spider ask yourself if it's with running what ever it's on like a lamp shade. Happy Hunting .

@Enigma,

These ups and downs must be driving you crazy. You are in my thoughts and I'm sure in the thoughts of others. Hang in there.

Big Hugs,
David.

I really feel like I'm losing it. I don't recognize my own life.

ktl86 hang on this is all part of CP. We find ourself looking for the life we once had and eventually learn to except what we've been dealt. But we still have those times that we get down. Some more then others. That's why we are here is for support and to offer our support. If you want to vent then vent away. If you don't have a friend or family members then come here . We all have big shoulders and big hearts. This is all part of CP. When we have flare ups and added pain it tends to increase our bad thoughts. And mood. We find ourselves trying to find our way back out of the hole. All you can do is your best to contol it and not let it contol you. It helps to talk about your pain, your thoughts , your frustrations and fears. Remember we are here if you need some to share with. I promise you it helps. Scream if you need. Hugs and prayers

Paul Mitchell Freeze and Shine. The hairspray weapon of choice!

Im angry because the doctors didnt listen to me when I was 15. 7yrs later things got so bad they had to listen. But they could have fixed me and I wouldnt be here now. I lost my career, had to leave school, my relationship ended, and my friends couldnt deal anymore. Im 25yrs old trying to get disability. My family doesnt understand why Im not use to the pain by now. I dont remember what its like to not be in pain. I keep thinking Im going to wake up and be fine and my life will be the way it was suppose to be. Why me? 6 surgeries in 4yrs. I feel like Im being punished for something. Pain is the only thing I know anymore.

@ cherry, now that's some powerful stuff ( my favorite product). It will stop that poor little monster in his tracks . Lol

ktl86, its good to talk about it and get it out. You are at the right place as 11longyears says. As a lifelong suffer, if I could inject what I have learned, there is no why and there is no punishment and it isn't fair at all. But certainly VENT AWAY because it feels good to get it out. This is the hand that you were dealt with and together we find the strength and skills to move forward. Don't ever give up.

Peace is in acceptance. Easier said than done; I for one wish I could stay in that state of mind.

CHERRYCHANGA!! PUT DOWN THE SPRAY!

Hang in there ktl86. I wish I could tell you something that would make your pain go away, but I can't. I can tell you that holding on to your anger does not help. We are all in this terrible CP club together. We are here to listen to you and to hold your cyber hand.
Take care
Hank

ktl86, you've taken the first step to accepting your pain by coming here . Which is the hardest step. The angry you have is normal but you shouldn't have let it go on this long. You need to start excepting it more or it is going to control the rest of your life. All of this is adding to your pain. I promise you. You can ask anyone with CP if this isn't true.......why do you think your doctor could of fixed you at the age of 15? I'm not saying your wrong because I don't know what you have.......I'm sorry about all you've lost and I know how difficult it must be for you especially at such a young age. You can have a happy life if you want it as far as sharing it with someone but before you do that you must work at the excepting it yourself. No one else will be able to except it if you don't yourself. Do you understand what I'm trying to say? Honey your young and have so much to offer the world and so much time still in this world so please give it a shot. It's just as I'm sure your parents have told you in other parts of your life before this happen. I know I've told my kids and still do with anything and everything you do even going on an outing , a trip , or a party. You are only going to get out what you put into it. You are only going to have fun if you allow yourself to. Sweetie I'm here for you. Keeping putting out your good and bad thoughts and your flustrations. This is all so neatly for you. Hugs

Hank is right Kt186 we are here to hold each other up. This place is a wonder, Really! I was so lonely and felt so isolated before I found this group. Now I know that scads of people share my pain and understand exactly what I go through every day. They know about my loneliness, my pain, the struggles with the medical system, problems with family & friends not understaning, financial difficulties, my medication and the list could go on. The point I am trying to make is that taking the time to invest yourself here is very worthwhile. Because these people understand and care. I know that sense of desperation, I have been there. But with suppot that feeling of desperation slips away and you start feeling hopeful again. We are so glad that you have joined us. Hugs, Cathy

I went to several docs when I was 15, I had headaches, neck, and back pain. They told me I would grow out of it. If they had done 1 MRI they would have seen that my spinal cord was damaged. They didnt take me seriously. It got to the point were I couldnt feel my entire right side. I'm afraid to except my pain because that would mean it really isnt going to go away. And now the one person who has been my crutch thru this all, my mother, had to move 3000 miles away for her job. So much has changed in my life and this makes it unrecognizable. I don't know which way is up.

I understand all the what ifs but honey it's over. You can't change it now. You really need to put all you concerns in today. Working hard on exceptingnand moving on. Can they do anything atbthis time to help make it any better or can they help yournpain with meds? Your mom is your mom and always will be no matter how far she is away. Concentrate on what you do have and what you have that others dont, what your able to do and others cant be thankful and count your blessing. You are really making thing rougher for yourself. Please try to do this for a few weeks and reach out and help others and offer them support. Hugs

I am not as frigtened of the pain I was a few weeks ago. It's arthritis eating away, it seems, at all the joints in my body and it could also be fibro... My doc says I'm already treated the same way as I would with fibro (pain meds and antidepessant) so there's no point in pursuing the fibro angle....

It would be easier if my adult daughter wasn't in chronic pain and coming down with one thing after another, just now a blood clot in her leg, and suddenly my best friend had to be in the hospital. She's back home but the tests have not come back yet and they haven't yet figured out what the matter...

I tend to be calm just for the time I have to deal with an emergency (in this case two at the same time!) but afterwards I get depressed and nervous and now, after so much stress in my life (also lots of happiness too), well I can't seem to stop shaking....

So yes, tonight I need a hug but I'm also sending y'all plenty of them too..... I'm impressed by how brave so many people in this site are. I'm trying to find inspiration in you all.....