fuchsiasky
Status: Happy? Weird.
Mood:
Ok
Offline
- Hi all. It's been a rough bit as of late. Last week I lost my job of 10 years. They restructured and eliminated my position. That was just over a week after I moved. I had to move July 1. But the place I have lined up is for august 1. So...
- Why do I always have to be sister suzy sunshine looking for the good in the world? I want to be negative and down and sad once in a while. Actually a lot of the time. But apparently I am not allowed. I was just told that if I keep throwing the...
- I have struggled really hard with the concept of living. When Rob got sick living became about cancer. When he died I didn't want to live anymore. But now I am wondering what living actually means. I look at all these people around me who "live"...
- We had a party for Rob. It was to be a celebration. Joyous. But it didn't happen like that. I'm processing the night I'm not ok. I am fucking angry. There was a guy who wanted a funeral. a best friend of rob. The day after rob died he started...
- On Thursday we are having a celebration for Rob. He planned it in theon the before he died. He wanted a gamer party. A hall full of tvs and game systems, everyone eating and drinking and sharing memories of him. So that's what we're doing. But...
- I am so tired of trying. I am so tired of being "happy". So tired of being sad. So tired of dealing with life and all it's petty bs and details. I just want to go curl up in my bed and hide for the day. I want to go back into the fog. Cause at...
- Today is the happiest and saddest of days. I love my kids do much. They're spoiling me. But Rob always did that. I just miss him so much today. I want him back!!!!
- My step daughter just sent me this. She is in her own grief hell as she mourns her dad. She is right though. Rob would have wanted us to be happy and find all the good int he world. He was just that kind of man. You can shed tears that he is...
- I have done a lot of thinking this weekend on the subject of negativity. Since I was told that I am too negative and cynical. When someone tells me things like that I can't help but try to evaluate it and see if they are right. And I know in this...
- I've been having a hard time dealing with a friend. I've mentioned it here before. Well I finally got him to talk and tell me what is going on. Had to practically have a fight to get an answer. He says that he can't handle my negativity. ...
- On another board that I visit they have a thread called say their name. Because we don't hear their names enough anymore. Because we don't get to talk about them enough anymore. Because hearing their names makes them still feel real. So I'll...
- So I was informed by my daughter this weekend that I have to try to have fun and be happy. She said it's ok if it hard but I "have to you, ya know, just try". Well the kid is right. I do have to try. That is the family rule. We all try our...
- I feel so lost today. I just want to curl up into a ball and hide and cry. But I cant. I have to be at work. My grandma passed away on Saturday. This week I have to travel to her funeral. I will stand and do the reading for her because I love...
- I just had it out with the insurance company about Rob's life insurance. I sent in the paperwork for the claim a month ago (after a 4 month run around) and haven't heard back. I've been trying to get answers from his employer and they have been...
- I just did my taxes. I clicked the widow button and everything. I thought it would really mess me up so had help lined up. But I just kinda did it on a whim. It wasn't hard. I just realized after the fact what I did. Wow.