reisen55

Woke up 4:30 am, tried to sleep, stress

My car broke down today and I hope it is a new battery, and my clients are very slow in paying me any money.  My consulting business is in tatters as is most of my sanity.  I am actually looking at...

Now my mind races back eight years to that day, to experiences too horrible to remember and a world hell bent on forgetting them. 

11 days to go.  Always hard for me now for I am a south tower survivor, 101st floor and each and every year these days become unique. 

When I used to write horribly depressive journal entries, responses came but when you are doing good, nobody writes and now i am in a bad way again.  Emoitionally I am far removed from most...

Ladies, yes it is possible for a man and a woman to be friends.  We all have loves in life that are the FIRST one and usually it ends badly.  Same for me and that the lady involved was, and is, the...

Financial horror show.  I have a major account that is simply not paying invoices period and my part time job is a royal bitch.  I have mentally surrendered that one, but it is not a financial...

Probably detonated another job, a part-timeone but I let good old anger get the better part of me and let my boss have it.  Instantly realized I fucked myself royale and am very depressed at lack of...

For the past two weeks what was a quiet home descended into chaos as the grandkids, 3 of them, came for a visit and it was exciting,wild and expensive.  A demanding time too that shattered some of...

I am fighting for every bit of sanity I have and losing now big time.  My clients are not paying jme for work and I have everything going wrong.  Suicidal thoughts are back again and stress as...

I am now working three jobs at once, a bit of a stress load but making money and losing my mind in the process. However ... I joined Classmates and found a thread on September 11 so I joined it. ...

To get the head together.  I often write a journal in a bad way and really blowing off steam, which results in a ton of hugs and usually within a few hours I am sorry I wrote the damn thing.  So...

did not die last night, wanted to. have to go through a day. still want to.

total collapse.  I am looking at 30000 wedding and I have nothing,zero,zip and should be dead.  I am back to suicidal thoughts.  it is 120 feet from the tappanzee bridge to the water.  sleeping...

If you browse my pictures you will see a cabin in the woods in Kent. Connecticut.  Well it was torn down in 1995 and rebuilt as a new structure - long gone to my touch. Just found that it is...