reisen55

Wednesday morning, woke up at 5:30 am unable to sleep but tried to.  Mornings are the worst because you do return to the real world from blissful sleep and dreams.  The dreams are weird these days,...

End of the day - got a second interview so not bad, and visiting clients tonight - may pick up a check or two.  Always good there.  And my sanity friend, our schnoodle, keeps me sane when the world...

TUESDAY morn: second day of job hunt - an interview at 10am and then sending out more resumes.  Going to visit some clients today and tonight and also have a small biz consulting lead to follow up...

End of first day job hunting: resumes out and 1 phone interview that was a joke and another phone interview coming tomorrow.  Spent minimal dollars for the day and having a quiet evening at home -...

EGAD - Just looked at my diary entry for 11/19/2006 and it is almost the same as I could write RIGHT NOW????  Weird world.

Monday, first "day" without a job and sending out resumes over the internet, a dolesome activity and depressing in some ways.  Very worried about money right now.  I have some consulting income and...

While worked for part of the Sunday on business, watched some ancient family videos with my daughter and her boyfriend tonight, circa 1984 in my parent's home in Saddle River NJ.  She has never,...

Oh, I feel OK for now.

Sleeping last night was a disaster but thoughtful and in the morning I visited some of my existing clients inclusive of a new one, did some work and at least feel stable for the moment.  It's a hard...

Emotions are getting very dark quickly.  I feel like a total failure now, and not happy at all.  And those old suicidal thoughts are beginning to return.

Downhill faster.  Collection agency notice due to too little money this year.

A little more fear now ... emotions are setting the stage for a job loss and hunt, so panic is in the background.  I fear that I psychologically am still engaged to Aon - the firm I was employed by...

Spouse is taking this news in stride but only because I am keeping myself upbeat and positive, which is difficult to do.  I think, as with earlier times, you are going to see more of me here on this...

I tempted the gods by comparing Spectra to Continuum - was fired today and while stressed of course, I have been wanting to develop outside business BADLY so maybe this is the kick I needed to get...

Bit of a stressful day again and I felt very down for part of it.  My job has little future and I have to remember than whenever I encounter my manager who I severely dislike.  I want OUT of this...