reisen55

Avoided stress today and spent very little money as well, a quiet day and needed in many ways, but back to job hunting tomorrow and have to begin to straighten out my life's mess.  Don't think I'll...

Punching myself in the chest, hoping to bring on a nice heart attack.  Extremely depressed, looked at a suicide site and all the depressive symptoms match up.

Hanging in here, with limited funds and tons of stress around.  I am making money slowly on outside support but it is not enough to keep me afloat for tooo long.  One good thing is that I repaired...

And so begins a tense Tuesday, woke up super early, 2;30 am and could not sleep for about 3 hours due to stress and worry. 

Taking care of walking the dogs and keeping anger at a lower point, but under severe depression now.

Creditors coming after me, running out of money - checking into declaring personal bankruptcy, if it affects my spouse or they come after her assets, I will ask her to divorce me immed.  Don't want...

Saturday - handled one of my credit card WE WANT YOUR MONEY calls with a fair attitude and good cheer, if such is possible and then visited my accounts to do some work and have come home.  A decent...

Got myself into a bind today - one of my customers, a woman in Manhattan, had a monitor display issue so after 2 visits and made some slight money, I promised to bring her a standard old monitor to...

Interview today and I realized that by being out of my own for 2 years (and having wrecked 3 jobs along this path courtesy of aspbergers) my attempts to re-enter the corporate world are doomed if I...

OKAY feeling better dammit.  I have been in a total funk the past few days and the journal entries are fairly dark things of late.  One goes down and comes back up but the hard thing for me is...

Tuesday night and I am extremely depressed, more so than ever before.  I walk around punching myself in the chest, hoping to bring on a heart attack and end it all.  I am tired of the financial...

A Sunday and for today I worked a good part of it at one of my outside accounts, always good therapy and picked up one of four payment checks for the year, so money stress for the immediate is slight...

Welcome to Saturday morning and still alive.  Ah well.  If a meteor took out my half of the bed and left everything else intact, that would not be so bad.  Watched DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL last...

When do I feel good these days?  I am writing this from Monroe Family Eye Care where I manage their network on my own time and hours, and nothing is better therapy for me than doing this.  In an...

Just removed all of the photos from my profile.  I want nothing from the past to be present right now.  Everyday behind me was better than today.  Want nothing for anyone to remember me by.