reisen55

Sunday Evening: Just returned from a dinner out, spending money for sake of sanity and feeling normal, but otherwise have to watch it a bit. Sleep is far far better than it was two weeks ago, and...

Saturday Evening: Had breakfast with a very good friend of mine, far away, who is suffering major depression and is on disability - but he knows his limitations and is fighting a truly heroic and...

Friday - I have had a few good days recently, job hunt on Wednesday produced a buncha leads for the week ahead, Thanksgiving was very fine with some local friends and sleep has returned to normal. ...

Wednesday Morning - well, an interview today with a headhunter and then four days of virtual silence on the job front, so getting ready to enjoy whatever good things I can. It's going to be a bit of...

Tuesday Evening: Now I have a potential small-ish job that pays poorly, but it is better than zero - balance that with a phone call from my wife's daughter in Atlanta asking for $600 in rent. One...

Tuesday - sleep issues are fading a bit, at least I wake up at 5:30 am. I have verified that at least unemployment is being processed and working on a home computer too for a client. Resumes are...

11/20: Woke up at 5:30 instead of earlier, still stressed and still worried and job hunt is impacted by the short week ahead, so will have to hunker down a bit and live light. Keeping spirits up but...

Sunday - made a bit of $$$ today, and learned much about an old job I held. The wallet is decently full, and tomorrow I again hit the world of job search and huntings. Keeping my spirits up and as...

Evening: 11/17 - no phone call from the recruiter about the job and interview, and of 80 or 100 resumes out there, not one call today. Took a tranquilizer to actually sleep for a while. Not a good...

11/17: Incredible how every morning I wake up at 4:40 with stress. Even with a good interview, I still cannot sleep a full night, still think sometimes about suicide, money worries and cannot return...

Update - I am dressed for my interview and departing in about 2 hours, so changing feeling to OK for good luck and adding this journal entry for good luck too.6:46 pm: actually going on an interview...

November 16 - woke up, 4:40 am, terrified again, suicidal again. Major stress and an interview today. Very very hard times now.

Evening: tomorrow, a third interview with ConEd - hope it goes well and nervous as a cat. Got a ton of resumes out today, good coverage, so stress is there but not bad. I will report the outcome...

PANIC - My employer from the job just lost may be playing final paycheck games!!!!! Drove to the ATM and it has yet to be deposited. MONEY STRESS just went through the roof.Nope, panic reduction...

Just returned from a visit with my therapist, and for the awful depressing and stressful weekend gone by, she was impressed by my management skills (yes, I was suicidal at times) and I stressed the...