Sleeping last night was a disaster but thoughtful and in the morning I visited some of my existing clients inclusive of a new one, did some work and at least feel stable for the moment.  It's a hard thing but I do believe I was subsconsciously destroyed or hindering my career based upon comparison to Aon/World Trade Center job.  Not something to compare to as no job, ever, becomes that much of a family relationship.  Glad to have spotted it.