jokiwhau's Posts | DailyStrength

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Scared of Making a Mistake

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It has been awhile since I have been on here. My final divorce papers will be going through hopefully in the next 2 weeks, but in the meantime I have been trying out the dating world - yikes!Last week I went on a date with a gentleman and it was...
He Did Not Change

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I had supper with my stbx last night to go over some final paperwork for the divorce. He has been trying to convince me to come back, and has given me some reassurances these past few weeks that he is changing - not drinking, smoking, quitting the...
Online Dating

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Well I did it - I went on my first date in 23 years with a guy I met on Match. It went ok, but I was so nervous I almost called it off!I don't know how I am going to do this after being married for 20 years. How the heck does a person start over...
How Do You Figure Out Who You Are?

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I am struggling. After 22 years of being married, our divorce is final next month.I am 44 now, and have spent most of my adult life with this person. How on earth do I figure out who I am now? I have no idea what to do by myself.Unfortunately I...
Why After So Long Am I Obsessing?

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I have been separated for almost a year, and my divorce (after being married for 22 years) will be final sometime in October. I am so mad at myself right now! I keep feeling so lonely, and I miss him so much. I keep obsessing and feel like I want...
Just Read This.....

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I just read this in "The Human Magnet Syndrome" by Ross Rosenberg, and it really struck me that this is the story of my life!"Codependents confuse care taking and sacrifice with loyalty and love. Although they are proud of their unwavering...
401k Loan

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I am in a catch 22.My paychecks are low because I had to take out 2 401k loans to keep my house out of foreclosure. (They payments on these loans come right out of my paycheck every 2 weeks until they are paid back.)One of the loans is almost paid...
Is This True?

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My husband and I have been separated for almost a year now due to many issues - one of which is alcohol.He recently got a DUI and was advised to get an analysis at a treatment center. He said he filled out the evaluation, and that the treatment...
No Show for Father's Day

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After 22 years I left my husband because he is an alcoholic. After counseling I realized this was the right thing to do, because the relationship is toxic. The problem I am dealing with now is my 16-yr-old and his father now being non-existent. ...
Second Thoughts

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Last night my daughter came over, and she said her dad has "cut down" on the drinking. She says he is feeling better, and seems much more positive on life. Why does this immediately make me believe he is going to get better? I know as I type this...
Need Some Strength!

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I am finding it very difficult to come up with the courage to tell my husband that I want a divorce. He is an alcoholic, and I kicked him out 7 months ago. We have been going to counseling to see if anything can be worked out, but it is clear to me...
2nd Small Claims Suit

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Well I got my 2nd small claims suit filed against me this week for the outstanding medical bills I have. It is so frustrating to know that I will now have two judgments against my credit! UGH - I wish I could have prevented them, but the cash flow...
Am I in Denial?

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My husband and I are in marriage counseling right now. The counselor says he is an alcoholic and I am severely codependent. He does drink at night when he leaves work, but he doesn't drink during the day like I guess I would expect a "normal"...
Stop Feeling Guilty

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I am new here. I recently realized through counseling that I am very codependent, and as a result I probably have 3 equally codependent adult children. How do I deal with the guilt about doing this to them? I have an overwhelming feeling of...