Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
After 22 years I left my husband because he is an alcoholic. After counseling I realized this was the right thing to do, because the relationship is toxic. The problem I am dealing with now is my 16-yr-old and his father now being non-existent.
During our marriage his father was always around of course. Now that he has moved out, he goes weeks and months without seeing him - and that's because the ex can't seem to find the time.
How frustrating! Yesterday my son texted/called his dad all day to see if they could get together for Father's Day. Finally around 7pm he gets a text saying he has to go buy groceries and shower/shave for work the next day. What a load of crap!
It is so tough to watch this happen. I just hope my son realizes how much he is loved, and that his dad's relationship with alcohol is why he is not participating in the relationship.
Any words of advice on what to say to my son would be appreciated. I am trying really hard not to say super negative things about his dad right now, but he is not making it easy!
During our marriage his father was always around of course. Now that he has moved out, he goes weeks and months without seeing him - and that's because the ex can't seem to find the time.
How frustrating! Yesterday my son texted/called his dad all day to see if they could get together for Father's Day. Finally around 7pm he gets a text saying he has to go buy groceries and shower/shave for work the next day. What a load of crap!
It is so tough to watch this happen. I just hope my son realizes how much he is loved, and that his dad's relationship with alcohol is why he is not participating in the relationship.
Any words of advice on what to say to my son would be appreciated. I am trying really hard not to say super negative things about his dad right now, but he is not making it easy!
Alcohol does weird things to people, but children suffer its effects the worst. Most of the time they blame themselves. Does your son know that his dad is an alcoholic? It would have been a great help to me as a teen to know that my father was suffering from an illness. I internalized it a lot as a teen. It would have helped to set my mind at ease and make it easier for me to understand that there were other things at play.
An Alanon group might be helpful. I didn't go but wish I had. A friend of mine in my late teens was an alcoholic and I went instead with her to AA, where I learned a lot about the behaviour that is common for alcoholics. I also learned that most alcoholics are just normal people whose hearts are good but whose lives are clouded so heavily with alcohol that they can't form normal relationships. It helped me to understand that I personally had zero bearing on how my father behaved.
I wish you luck, and I wish you and your son much happiness. xo
Consider this as it will help take the pressure off of you and help you adjust to the new life.
Good luck!!!
He called his dad to see if they could get together but his dad was having dinner with the fiancee's father, and my kids are not really welcome there
I was so angry, you are having dinner with a man who is not related to you over your 12 year old.
Not sure what they think they are doing or how they justify it.
I took my son out for a specialty Ice Cream Parlour, and let him get the five scoop special.