I quit smoking and my drinking doubled. So I started smoking again and quit drinking. After I get more confident in my sober life I will tackle smoking again. I had to pick my battle and drinking was the most destructive of my bad habits.

I did not drink during the day, and I did not drink every day. Those things are not what made me an alcoholic.

I think you should keep an open mind and give serious consideration to what your counselor says. Educate yourself about alcoholism and co-dependency. Give yourself time to accept whatever truth you discover.

I think that is what I need - education. I am hoping counseling and Al Anon will get me the information I need. Thank you!!!

Typical alcoholic behavior on your husbands part, can't "fix" him until he's ready.

Just a thought for I think you already have the answer. and the co-dependence issue I would get educated on it and stop.

Try an alaon meeting

I'm glad you are at least opening up conversation. That's the first step.

There is a good group on the ds site.

Wives /husbands of alcoholics

1is2

One of the signs of codependancy is when you "minimize", your husbands problem!

Alcoholism has been called a family disease in that one's addiction negatively affects the entire family! Addicts are also very good at lying. If he said he will cut back, he probably won't or if he does it will not last for long.

I think you have to ask yourself how long you want to live like that, with alcohol controling both you and your husband?

I highly recommend al anon for you. You can google meetings in your area. You need alot of support and alanon will provide support. You will meet others like you and learn how they deal with codependancy issues and made their lives happier and more enriching as a result.

In the meantime we will keep you in our thoughts and prayers!

God Bless!

I'd try alanon.

As far as alcoholic qualifications; anyone who is justifying their drinking to a spouse, likely has a problem at a minimum.
I was an alcoholic who maintained an incredibly successful career, and didnt drink before 6 p.m. almost ever. The times I did were for parties where everyone was drinking too. In fact I was so successfully deceptive, that when I decided I needed to get sober my husband didnt quite believe I was alcoholic, nor did my family or friends. Go figure. But I can assure you I most certainly was/ am.

Alanon is the best place for you to work this out for yourself. There is also alateen for the kids!

I quit smoking for 3 weeks and that was my way of releiving stress for 5 minutes and just thinking to myself so thats how I ended up even having a problem. I really hope for the best and hope that counsellor is wrong but its better that youre safe and just tell him howe it makes you feel to see him drink (maybe in the day when hes sober) because I think that may be how it could start but eventually he could be drinking the whole day

The combination of counseling and a support group is the best way to start. Perhaps adding individual counseling might be additional "insurance" to be considered. As you are doing both you doing all that can be done.

Thanks everyone - I have started individual counseling, and he is helping me understand how codependency is running my life right now. What a huge wake up call! I went to one Al Anon meeting, and it was weird. All they did was read out of the book - I was expecting more openness and support I guess. There are several Al Anon groups in town, so I am going to try a couple of the other ones and see if they are a better fit. I really appreciate the support - it is nice to know there is someplace I can reach out to others during this difficult period. God bless!!!!

It sounds like you are on your way to a better life. Please keep us posted. The decisions you make and the road you take, may help someone else.

god Bless!