Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
I just read this in "The Human Magnet Syndrome" by Ross Rosenberg, and it really struck me that this is the story of my life!
"Codependents confuse care taking and sacrifice with loyalty and love. Although they are proud of their unwavering dedication to the person they love, they end up feeling unappreciated and used.
Codependents yearn to be loved, but because of their choice of dance partner, find their dreams unrealized. With the heartbreak of unfulfilled dreams, codependents silently and bitterly swallow their unhappiness.
Codependents are essentially stuck in a pattern of giving and sacrificing, without the possibility of ever receiving the same from their partner."
Wow - after 22 years in a relationship with an addict, I am finally realizing that I also have a problem. Now it is time to start over and gain control of my life. Just wanted to share this! (((HUGS)))
"Codependents confuse care taking and sacrifice with loyalty and love. Although they are proud of their unwavering dedication to the person they love, they end up feeling unappreciated and used.
Codependents yearn to be loved, but because of their choice of dance partner, find their dreams unrealized. With the heartbreak of unfulfilled dreams, codependents silently and bitterly swallow their unhappiness.
Codependents are essentially stuck in a pattern of giving and sacrificing, without the possibility of ever receiving the same from their partner."
Wow - after 22 years in a relationship with an addict, I am finally realizing that I also have a problem. Now it is time to start over and gain control of my life. Just wanted to share this! (((HUGS)))
I think you would also like these ones:
http://www.amazon.com/Help-Love-Narcissist-Steven-Carter/dp/1590770773/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1406272770&sr=8-1&keywords=help+i%27m+in+love+with+a+narcissist
http://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Blackmail-People-Obligation-Manipulate/dp/0060928972/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1406272796&sr=8-1&keywords=emotional+blackmail
They've given me so much knowledge, support and good advice. I love reading!
All the bests! :)
It was the first time I discovered that I was just as much to blame for our troubles as he was. It was the first time I took ownership for my own feelings. For years I blamed him and his disease for my unhappiness. So I called the separation off.. because I thought maybe if I worked on me.. I could let him be him.. we would get along better?! Things were SOOO BEAUTIFUL for about 2 weeks. We have fallen back into old habits and we are miserable again.
Read and learn and grow!! Just be wary in thinking if you change that he will change too!
Good luck to you!! If you have faith in yourself and continue to work on getting better.. you will find inner happiness and strength. You will want more for yourself! ((Hugs))
I identify with that entire passage from that book. My goodness, I need to find this book and read it.
I am absolutely scared s***less that I am not acting out of loyalty and love and acting out of care and sacrifice and more importantly FEAR and people pleasing.
I have dealt with codependency for the last 4 years, but did not identify it until the start of this year, when my husband stopped his addiction so he was "on the mend"but I was still broken. I was still so angry and consumed with feelings of being unappreciated and being used. I started to google and found out about codependency.
I think a lot of people do not know about it.
May I ask you, how you are starting over again and gain control of your life?
Did you break up? Or are you both seeking help?
I'm actually not sure what the right direction and first step for my recovery is. I feel stuck and I feel like nobody cares about menot even my husband. He just wants me to get better, as now I am the one with the problem (angry and non-trusting).
Wish you all the best.