Leapyear22
Status: Happy.
Mood:
Excellent
Offline
- here
- People have asked me, what its like to be a compulsive gambler, what happens to me? They see me, normally, most people, other than my immediate family members didn't even know about my compulsive disorder until recently, when I told them. A...
- There are those nights, that I fall asleep early, for me 9 pm is early, I'm usually awake until much later. Last night was one of those nights. I kept waking up, and thinking, "omg, that's all I have in the bank." It reminded me of when I was in...
- I had a talk with God this morning, just he and I. And I thanked him.xoxoxo
- What a year its been, blinked and its just about over. The good news is, I haven't placed a bet, in quite sometime, honestly, since my last relapse, I have no idea how many "days" its been, I could look it up and count down the time, but, for me,...
- For me, my life line to my recovery, other than, the most important part, is I wanted to stop, was to exclude myself from the local stomping grounds I went to. I can drive over an hour or so away, if I really wanted too, but as they say, my drug of...
- While I was in my addiction, gambling, and destroying my life, I never felt love, or loved, and when I did, it was usually dipped with a bit of guilt. Now that I don't gamble, and I'm in recovery, I feel. I feel loved, I feel grief and sadness,...
- There are a few moments in my lifetime that have taken my breath away. One was when I held you for the first time, and you put your head on my shoulder, the other was today, when I held you and let you go, for the last time. My heart is broken,...
- Gamble free, I have lost track of the days, I actually decided not to count my days, and take each day at a time, so I say, today, this moment, I didn't place a bet. I was thinking on my way home tonight, sitting in the rain, that I haven't even...
- Last night I found out that my dog Sugar has cancer, Transitional Cell Carcinoma, malignant tumor. When I heard the words "cancer, tumor" my world stopped for a brief moment. Sugar is my best friend and the love I have for her can't even begin to be...
- Today, life is good. And I was thinking, even though there have been a lot of changes, and cleaning out old cobwebs, including some people in my life, I've handled it well. I think for me, the last time I placed a bet, my world was spinning so...
- Good weekend, after a tough week, super emotional, having to say good bye to someone, and then, losing a rescue dog that I had been supporting, was rescued by a dear friend, after it had been abused, unfortunately, we lost him. This weekend, I...
- So change tends to "rock my world" and saying good bye, well, that is almost impossible for me, I feel my heart tear out. This week I am saying good bye to someone who has become a family member, and a dear friend, he is moving to Texas in two days,...
- There are those days, like today, where part of me just wants to take off for a "few hours" and then the other part of me wants to do my housework and be grateful for all that I have. I struggle on the weekends, I tend to be alone, mostly by...
- Today I was once reminded, with a velvet hammer, how blessed I am to be in recovery, this journey although not easy, is a new way of life, that brings gifts, subtle as they are. I have been given an opportunity through my hard work, to take on new...