Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
Today, life is good. And I was thinking, even though there have been a lot of changes, and cleaning out old cobwebs, including some people in my life, I've handled it well. I think for me, the last time I placed a bet, my world was spinning so out of control, that I now am starting to love my serenity, my down time, my alone time. I still have a huge financial burden, I'm chipping away at, but, I don't wake up with tears streaming down my face, after binging at the card table for days, and then waking up, and knowing I had done so much emotional and financial damage. Those days were pure hell, the fix and then the fall.
Each day I don't place a bet, is a new day, and a much better day, better than days in the past. In my heart, I know I'm done with that very long chapter in my life, but I also know, that I can't wear rose colored glasses, I need to work on my recovery, body, mind and spirit.
I am learning to forgive myself, and not even hate this addiction, I don't actually hate it, I fear it, kind of strange, I know, but it scares the hell out of me, I go to a different place, I become a different person, someone that when I would look in the mirror, I didn't know. Today, when I look in the mirror, I see a few more wrinkles, but for the most part, I like who I see.
Recovery is first, everything else will follow.
xoxoxoxoxo
Each day I don't place a bet, is a new day, and a much better day, better than days in the past. In my heart, I know I'm done with that very long chapter in my life, but I also know, that I can't wear rose colored glasses, I need to work on my recovery, body, mind and spirit.
I am learning to forgive myself, and not even hate this addiction, I don't actually hate it, I fear it, kind of strange, I know, but it scares the hell out of me, I go to a different place, I become a different person, someone that when I would look in the mirror, I didn't know. Today, when I look in the mirror, I see a few more wrinkles, but for the most part, I like who I see.
Recovery is first, everything else will follow.
xoxoxoxoxo
She went on to explain that recovering addicts are people that have seen hell and made it out. They are people that have done a great deal of personal work and know who they are. They have figured out what's important and what's just BS. They can appreciate simple things, they are humble and open minded.
I truly thought she was nuts at the time. I didn't think there was one cool thing about being an addict (in recovery or not). I feel differently now. I am different now and I think I am a better human being because of gambling.
Thanks for sharing this post. It put a smile on my face.
Wow, your quit looks awesome on you!!!! :o) I'm totally with you sister when it comes to loving "me" time...it is very serene...the total opposite of the fix n fall like you said. I am grateful for each day my first waking thought is NOT filled with regret and remorse and tears and self hate.
Unlike you, I do dislike the addiction. I wish it were an actual being I could run my truck over and obliterate it....I know that's harsh but it's true...I just want to strangle that addiction voice and shut it up once and for all. I'm not a violent person in the least...but when it comes to this I'm a different person.....Wishful thinking. It is wise of you though to fear the addiction....I'm probably the same in that respect that's why I want to get rid of it.
"Recovery is first, everything else will follow" ----I'm gonna live by this motto...thank you so much for the post! You hit the nail on the head!
(((BIG HUGS)))
Cathy