Leapyear22

I started thinking about my gambling career today. The career that literally I paid to work at, emotionally and financially. I recalled walking into my stomping ground, card room in Oceanside, and...

I am seeing a trend, in the postings. I am right there, I have some time GF, and each day is getting a bit better. But, I too have had urges lately, I haven't acted on them, and I immediately shake...

Warrior, warrior, warrior.... my work has me in "can do" "get it done mode." My heart has me in, "humble mode." I am so humbled by where I come from, and where I have been. I am so thankful for...

I was thinking, as I was reading my morning, daily strength posts, when I finally got it, and it clicked for me, that I can't gamble, ever again, I was able to realize, it was okay. Okay, my brain is...

So, no matter how long its been since my last bet, I still get the calls from family members freaking out if they can't reach me. This weekend, I had a BBQ, house full of people, great time, watched...

I try to read posts, every day, sometimes, I can't, and then I have to play catch up. I have not placed a bet in awhile. More importantly, I have not placed a bet, TODAY. It appears that the...

Bumble bees don't know they aren't supposed to fly, but they fly. They run into windows sometimes, but, they fly. When I was in my addiction, I had very little, if any self worth, I was lonely,...

One week into my recovery, I self excluded yesterday from two of the main casinos I would go to, and although I have no urge, when I went into the last casino, to self exclude yesterday, I got very...

The fog is starting to lift, a little bit.  I am not thinking of, the drive in the direction to the casino, Saturday, as I was out looking at properties, and on my way home, I veered towards the...

I am pulling myself together, I feel as though I am walking in a fog, of sorts.  When I left Saturday, I just left, and I didn't look back, there was no reaching out to GA friends, or family members...

I am ashamed to say, that I went out, and I stayed gone for two days.  This last week was very busy, and all of my triggers were being alterted. I was so hell bent on not gambling again, and I still...

113 days in recovery. Odd, I know, I count down the days, for me, its like looking in the mirror with my clothes off (sorry but its the only comparison I could think of :) It brings me into reality,...

 ITS A GOOD DAY.... OFF TO DO IT.

In recovery for 90 days today. My mom wanted to celebrate today, and although I appreciate it, to me, day 1 was a reason to celebrate, and each day thereafter. Each day I don't place a bet, is a...

Day 80, without placing a bet, or running to the casino, or waking up after being gone for days, emotionally and financially broken.   Compulsive gambler, if anyone had told me, how hard this was...