FM0528

I believe Brad gave me what could possibly be the best anniversary gift ever In the most unlikely way! I lost my job today. But I've been unhappy for a while now and needed to make some changes. I...

For the past few weeks I have felt like I'm back at square one. I had begun to try to start dating again because I thought I was ready. Nope. Just talking to someone gave me an almost panic attack. I...

This whole grief thing really is a roller coaster going in circles! For the past week or so I've been feeling some of the emotions I haven't felt in a while. I've had the anger "you can't really be...

It began with the new year bust I didnt realize it until around my birthday. But I actually feel happy again, as odd as that sounds. All of last year I was simply just existing day in and day out....

Tomorrow will be the first anniversary of Brad's death. I have actually done pretty well the past few days, I've controled my crying and stayed pretty positive. That was until the last half hour....

its New Years eve and I'm alone. Not one of my friends even so much as asked if I was doing anything or offered to do something with me. I get it, they have their own lives. But it's like everyone...

This weekend has been pretty tough. Who knew that my stepdaughter's birthday would be so emotional. It's different than a special date with Brad bc I know she's right there and I want to be apart of...

Today is my Stepdaughter's 11th birthday. It kills me not being able to tell her "Happy Birthday" myself. I miss her so much. I have thought about sending her mother a message, but I'm so afraid she...

My heart breaks for my little boy. He has had to deal with so much loss in his 7 years, more than I had to even as a teenager. We found out yesterday that one of his football coaches unexpectedly...

So after having a bad night last night today has been full of signs. So many that I can't even remember them all. But one thing I have realized is that a certain phrase keeps popping up and I know...

After that first night of finding out my best friend was engaged I let go of feeling sorry/sad for myself. She has been there for me for the past 16 years through everything! This is her time and I'm...

The song "say something" by A Great Big World has had some sort of connection with me and Brad since everything happened. But I couldn't quite place why or what it was, until tonight. And I guess the...

I can just feel the anger building inside of me. This is NOT how things are suppose to be right now. He should be here. We should be having breakfast with the kids, getting ready to go out on the...

So far today has been ok. I woke up really early, but didn't want to get out of bed so I turned on the tv and watched for a while. At that point I didn't think I was going to get out of bed at all...

I have decided I have a love/hate relationship with the memories. They come throughout the day randomly, things I haven't thought of in forever just pop into my head! Like earlier I'm sitting at my...