Anger

I can just feel the anger building inside of me. This is NOT how things are suppose to be right now. He should be here. We should be having breakfast with the kids, getting ready to go out on the boat with our friends like we do so often when it starts getting warm. It's not fair that he's gone. It's not fair that im left here alone without him. He made me so happy. We had our issues, but everyone does. At the end of the day he made my life better, he made me better, and with him I was complete. I had everything I ever needed. I didn't need for us to be rich, we had eachother. Yes not struggling financially would have made things a lot easier, but we had a roof over our heads, food on the table, and our children had everything they needed. I don't see any reason in getting up everyday and doing all the daily tasks I have to do. He's not here so whats the point. I don't want any of this. I don't want to be miserable like I am every single day. I want him to walk through the door, wipe away the tears that are streaming down my face, hold me, and tell me 'everything is going to be ok babe. I'm here' I need him, I need him more than ever and this is the first time that he's not. No matter what was going on between us if I needed him he was there, every time. I am so angry, helpless angry. There is nothing I can do that is going to make him come back or make me feel better, and that even more angry. I just want to scream. I hate this.