gettingintune

Activity

• Infidelity
  

  Discussion Comment

  Posted by: gettingintune

  Posted: 11/01/2018

  gettingintune commented on the discussion one door has closed. another has opened.

• Rebuilding Marriage After Infidelity
  

  Discussion Comment

  Posted by: gettingintune

  Posted: 11/01/2018

  gettingintune commented on the discussion one door has closed. another has opened.

• Infidelity
  

  one door has closed. another has opened

  Posted by: gettingintune

  Last Reply: gettingintune 11/01/2018

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  I truly feel for the first time in almost 4 years, untethered by the past, untethered by resentment.ive broken free from the event horizon of the sucking blackhole of the past  I'm looking towards the future and living in the present and leaving the past behind where it belongs my wife and I have decided to divorce. Papers have been filed and we are negotiating settlement w our lawyers. for almost 4 years I've felt trapped in a room that only had 2 doors.neither of the doors were the right...

• Rebuilding Marriage After Infidelity
  

  one door has closed. another has opened

  Posted by: gettingintune

  Last Reply: Allora 01/24/2019

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  I truly feel for the first time in almost 4 years, untethered by the past, untethered by resentment.ive broken free from the event horizon of the sucking blackhole of the past  I'm looking towards the future and living in the present and leaving the past behind where it belongs my wife and I have decided to divorce. Papers have been filed and we are negotiating settlement w our lawyers. for almost 4 years I've felt trapped in a room that only had 2 doors.neither of the doors were the right...

• Rebuilding Marriage After Infidelity
  

  gunshot vs infidelity

  Posted by: gettingintune

  Posted: 10/11/2017

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  Choices ....or what does a gunshot and infidelity have incommon?Lately, I've been looking and framing infidelity thru the lens of CHOICES.The person who committed infidelity made their choice. The person who has betrayed....what choices did they make?No one choices to be a victim of infidelity. I certainly didn't, but here I am, almost 3 years post Dday.I've made much progress since those first hours, days, weeks, year/s .... but its still there....still left a scar that isn't 100% healed.I...

• Rebuilding Marriage After Infidelity
  

  I think I'm over the infidelity

  Posted by: gettingintune

  Last Reply: gravinggirl 05/04/2018

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  sounds strange to say but I think I'm over the infidelitydday was over 2.5 years ago.first year was survivalsecond year was dealing more w wife's emotional and physical declinethird year.... at some point in the last month or so...I just seem to be, for lack of a better term, "OVER IT"its not that our relationship is good...its not.its not that I forgot. I won'tits not that I forgive...I still don't know if I haveI just know, its not much more that a thought of something unpleasant that has...

• Infidelity
  

  Discussion Comment

  Posted by: gettingintune

  Posted: 09/18/2017

  gettingintune commented on the discussion Good Idea?.

• Rebuilding Marriage After Infidelity
  

  a funny thing happened to me on the way to the for

  Posted by: gettingintune

  Last Reply: Thumpa 05/19/2017

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  a funny thing happened to me on the way to the forumso, its almost 2  and a half years past dday (few 8 men in 15 months).we've gone thru hell and back....and are in a good place and still working on moving forward.although, there is no one other than my wife to blame for her choices and decisions, there were people around her at the time that encouraged her all along the way.one was her exBFF who was doing the same thing for who knows how long.  in Sept 13, she and my wife went on a moms...

• Rebuilding Marriage After Infidelity
  

  random thoughts of shame and guilt

  Posted by: gettingintune

  Posted: 05/09/2017

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  some random  thoughts last few weeks, the facts of the past (i.e. the time during my wife's multiple infidelities) has been popping up more than they have.   I attribute that to me feeling a disconnect growing between my wife and I, and I attribute that due to the fact that the last few weeks my wife had been sick and ended up in the hospital and is just getting back to normal. its MY perception ...not necessarily the objective truth , that I experience, and that drives me back onto the "oh...

• Rebuilding Marriage After Infidelity
  

  even though I'm a a very good space....... some da

  Posted by: gettingintune

  Posted: 05/08/2017

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  even though I'm a a very good space....... some days....I still crasheven though I feel that I have traveled quite far in my healing journey and my wife and I are in a good spot in R, and the memories of Dday fade as do my brain re-inventoring the facts regarding my wifes infidelities.......  ie....even though I'm a a very good space....... some days....I still crashthe facts of who, what, where, when, how...etc.... have been popping back into my head these last few weeks.   on one hand, I...

• Rebuilding Marriage After Infidelity
  

  Discussion Comment

  Posted by: gettingintune

  Posted: 05/02/2017

  gettingintune commented on the discussion just had my final ic session.

• Rebuilding Marriage After Infidelity
  

  just had my final ic session

  Posted by: gettingintune

  Last Reply: gettingintune 05/02/2017

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  wahoo!over the last 4 months I've been drawing down the frequency of IC sessions....from weekly, to bi-weekly, to monthly...and today, my IC therapist and I agreed, that there's no real reason to come back at this point.I feel like I just graduated!

• Rebuilding Marriage After Infidelity
  

  different approach to forgiveness

  Posted by: gettingintune

  Last Reply: Lenoire 04/26/2017

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  just posted this reply on a different forum regarding forgiveness.  thought it appropriate to post here as wellI think that I had thought forgiveness would be an event.I and of expected that  , ok , someday I will forgive, because I need to forgive in order to quit carrying this burden around w me, but I never could just consciously say "ok. today is the day that I forgive"I had tried that, but it wasn't true.so, instead of beating myself up about not getting to that point, I just figured, it...

• Rebuilding Marriage After Infidelity
  

  Discussion Comment

  Posted by: gettingintune

  Posted: 04/20/2017

  gettingintune commented on the discussion SHOULD vs COULD.

• Rebuilding Marriage After Infidelity
  

  a new approach to the past

  Posted by: gettingintune

  Posted: 04/19/2017

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  the following thought crossed my mind the last two nights as my wife and I were enjoying our evening post kids routine.when I think about the past..... its not the past of the affairs, nor is it the past of the initially year post dday,the past that comes up, is the PAST BEFORE the affairs and infidelity.its also not all focused on what my wife was doing, or not doing at that time, I focus more on what I was doing and not doing during that time...during the  3 years before the affairs...