rosewater
Status: Confused,stupid and frustrated.
Mood:
Ok
Offline
- What do you make of that? He has said that he does not feel quilty one bit about our affair. Said he feels badly toward my H cuz he likes him. But as far as she is concerned nothing. Said she killed that a long time ago.
- I feel so high right now. The OM and I are in a good place. (kinda) I feel confident about his feelings for me and it just makes you feel so good. It's amazing how that feeling can just lift you up and make you feel like you can do anything....
- Today he tells me after i poked and poked, that we cannot be together unless something major happens to our spouses. So now I have to decide if I want to stay knowing this or let it go. It hurts cuz of course we all want to be chosen. He loves me...
- Things have been tough. So this morning, while everything was quiet, I tried to talk to the Hubby. Told him I was so sick of everything, work, kids, etc. We started discussing, he hugged me and told me he loved me and was here for me and then got up...
- Wondering what I would do if my life were my own. Circumstances are too complex to list. I am forced to work where I do, forced to live where I do, where and when I go is limited. Everything. I have always been a sheltered person and adventure is...
- just watching House Hunters, couple in Amsterdam, renting, $4000 a month! Houses in the north for $600,000! You could get a mansion here for that! My 3300 sq ft house payment is only $875. gotta love the south.
- I asked him to leave this morning and he broke down. He said ok but then he just sobbed. Told him how I felt, he is more like one of my kids than my partner. Tired of worrying about the drugs etc. He said he understood and he hated himself. I felt...
- Wondering why we do these stupid things. Isn't it all just in search of that feeling... of love, peace, safety and acceptance. That feeling that you are willing to risk so much? And when you have it you feel like you can do anything, deal with...
- Would you be mad jealous or mad? He has two VERY nice trips in the next two months that he won from work. Of course SHE gets to go. I am jealous cuz I want to be there with him, cuz I want to smooze with the office crowd and I want to be at a lux...
- H has been exceptionally "nice". He is always nice, to me, but lately it seems he has gone out of his way. Laughing, joking, telling me stories, very attentative. I must admit he is always good to me but it seems different lately. I know he has been...
- No call, no nothing today. hurt
- What do you give your lover for Valentines Day? I need something that cannot be noticed. She is very sharp. Even something to keep at work is hard.
- so i tell him i don't want to hurt h but don't want to lose him,but it is going to wind up that way if we keep on. he will do whatever i want to do, we can keep doing our thing or will keep being "good buddies". yes he will be sad if we don't see...
- H found an innocent text to him and flipped. He is a social friend and we have had these discusions before ( how H did not like me talking to him). Told him before that he was not going to tell me who i could have as friends but this time is...
- He says he loves me, never wavered, won't back down, says it's worth the risk. Yet...he can go 2 weeks with no contact, doesn't always retunn my call before leaving work, most of our recent interludes are brief. Seems mosty because of work, new job,...