Cheaters Anonymous Community Group
This is a support group for cheating spouses looking for understanding and strength. Betrayed spouses are welcome to post ONLY if they can do so in a supportive manner (no bashing...these posts will be deleted), and please do not comment on 'Cheaters Only' posts.
I asked him to leave this morning and he broke down. He said ok but then he just sobbed. Told him how I felt, he is more like one of my kids than my partner. Tired of worrying about the drugs etc. He said he understood and he hated himself. I felt so sorry for him. I gave in and told him to stay. I don't really want him to but feel responsible for him like I always have. Who the hell is supposed to be happy anyway? He loves me and wants to be with me so I guess that is something. The OM is never there for me. And of course there no future,, right? isn't that what everyone says? Oh well.
A I think I said to you before, in the end your are only responsible for YOUR happiness. You are NOT responsible for another adults choices, sobriety or happiness. I understand that he loves you and that melts your heart...but that is what they do.
H has had a forty year on and off problem with drugs. Last year he went to rehab for a month but he wasn't ready. When he found out about OM last month, he was ready. He's been clean 6 weeks and one day. He didn't do rehab this time but we found him a therapist and are working with an MC for our relationship. We are also working through the books on Gabi and Cole's book list. If you ask him why he stopped, he will tell you he couldn't stand the idea of me with another man and it sobered him up to a realization that he knew it came down to me or the drugs. We will work this out and even fail once in awhile but I can honestly tell you that we are both the happiest we have been in a long time.
You have to stick to your guns or have him move on.