I feel you! Have researched what happens in the brain when we fall in love. Trust me, drugs are nothing compared to LOVE!

Hi rosewater and I couldn't agree more.. somedsys I wish I had that feeling back as well as having my ex back to give me that feeling.. he was very good at that..
I also think I gave him that high as well...
I'm moving on and not seeing him but doesn't mean I don't crave it..
hugs heard

You have described the high well. I lived that high constantly for 7 mos from OM#1 to OM#2. It was an amazing ride. The euphoria makes you feel like another person living in another world. Another life. Youthful, high energy, excited, fun, sexual, etc.....

I hate to put a terrible damper on things but here is a quote I copied and pasted into one of my journals. I read it on another thread and it described my after Dday experience exactly. The crash, on the other side of the euphoria, is unbelievable. Here I am almost 2 years after Dday and I cried 3 times today. Granted, it was a bad day. I have felt emotionally tender today. I cried every day for a year, but now it is usually not every day. Here is the quote:

"Those that are strong and determined eventually do come out of the “fog” and are completely overwhelmed by the consequences of their actions. They see the utter destruction and permanent harm they have done to themselves and their loved ones. The lies that they constructed for themselves are seen for what they are and untold shame and guilt takes their place. They look back and cannot believe what they have done. Popular media largely makes fun of affairs, taking their effect lightly; worthy of situational comedy. The reality is far different. It strikes deep to the core of a person, far more than people that have never been in its path can imagine. It affects not just the marriage, but every aspect of that person's life. It turns over their entire world and their place in it. Most all describe it as far worse than any other emotional pain or turmoil that they have suffered, including the death of close family members."

Ouch! Thanks for the reality check.

Dear Friends: Well and eloquently stated.

Gabbi, I respect your intelligent words but I do not feel that is my situation. My high is because I am loved and it feels good. There is no fog. It is the only real thing in my life. The only thing I do that I have choice and control of. I don't get the "rush" of excitment by the sneaking around, I don't really feel young, etc. The high I feel is because i am more at peace, at home and/or complete. To me it is the feeling of being loved.
There are no constructed lies and there will never be shame about loving him. The guilt I had is now gone, defeated by the actions of the H. The only thing a D day can do to me is take me to a place I am too lazy or scared to go.
Thanks but I think I will enjoy my "high".

Gabi - Thanks for that. The "high" of the affair is not even close to worth the destruction it causes.

Wow - thanks Gabby. I wonder how long the pain will last. It comes in waves.

"..The reality is far different. It strikes deep to the core of a person, far more than people that have never been in its path can imagine. It affects not just the marriage, but every aspect of that person's life. It turns over their entire world and their place in it..."

^^THIS^^ is EXACTLY how i would describe it. I've said it before. I am shaken to my core.

Hugs to you Gabby

I am glad to see that there is someone else here who feels that way, Rose. It's been about one year since I gave up trying to fight my extramarital relationship. We have had out ups and downs. A lot of the downs being because I am married and it puts a lot of stress on me leading this life...and I turn into a bitch as a result. On the whole, we (my boyfriend and I) have gotten closer and closer.

You always hear people say that there is nothing wrong with loving. That love is all there is, etc. I have never been ashamed to love my BF. I don't know what our future is, and I am OK with whatever happens with us.

It turns over their entire world and their place in it. Most all describe it as far worse than any other emotional pain or turmoil that they have suffered, including the death of close family members."

I have commented that the realization of what I was involved in and the pain I felt because of all of it was owrse than losing both my parents. I have never in my life felt such a deep pain. The reality of all of it is still difficult to face.