Cheaters Anonymous Community Group
This is a support group for cheating spouses looking for understanding and strength. Betrayed spouses are welcome to post ONLY if they can do so in a supportive manner (no bashing...these posts will be deleted), and please do not comment on 'Cheaters Only' posts.
H found an innocent text to him and flipped. He is a social friend and we have had these discusions before ( how H did not like me talking to him). Told him before that he was not going to tell me who i could have as friends but this time is different. I basically had to promise to not talk to him anymore. Had already made up my mind that the A was not going to go anywhere, even tho we are in a really good spot right now. Just the thought of no contact makes me so sad. Losing a friend is worse that losing a lover. Although I could still chat from office. This is definitely a deal breaker with the H. Don't know whether to tell OM or not. Do I give an ultimatium? IDK
deleted_user
If you already know that you won't continue the affair, no contact is the easiest solution.
redlegs
Way back at the beginning of my relationship with the OM, my H discovered that I had been talking to him on the phone. I told him we were just friends and we worked together but he flipped too. I told the OM I couldn't do it anymore, but he wouldn't let me leave. I know it was my choice and all, but he wouldn't accept my reason for breaking it off. Nine long years later and he was the one to break it off with me after he got caught. Don't let time get away from you.
Gabrielle48
If you decide to go NC, hang on to it for dear life. Don't break it no matter how bad you want to, no matter how strong the pull. When you break NC it is "go back to start." It only prolongs the pain. The bond is there and it is strong and there are no shortcuts. It must die a slow death of neglect. It fades slowly like paint in the sunshine. There is very little you can do to speed it up. Guarding your thoughts helps a little.
notmyself1
Well said Gabby. Very true.
rosewater
I am an "all in" kind of girl. And apparently weak with no impulse control so I don't even attempt NC anymore. He stays pretty busy so maybe it will just happen naturally.
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