Rose
I read this and feel like you need to gain some control back. He is cake eating. He has the best of both worlds :(

He has the comfy security of a home life and family with a caring empathetic loving person waiting for him. I think for your own sanity you have to break free. It aint easy. It'll b a bitch. But he's living his life - a double one - carefree and getting everything he wants. Take care of YOU. It will feel so empowering when you step back and realize the type of guy OM is.

I am not judging, just caring about you and dont want to see you living in limbo like this and suffering :)

Hugs to you!

sit on the beach and him sleep??? thats bullshit

god this woman of his is so boring ass. no wonder hes...

if im on a vacation at a beach area.

Id spend the day walking around and scouting for things to do with the guy and places to hit later that night etc.

then rest in the beach and walk on the water with him.

get souveniersssss..... em..... he...

then drink of course or get high.

then party like crazy with him at night somewhere

then go to the beach in the middle of the night and let him feel me up, make out and even fuck there if... we can get away with it hahahahaaa

notmyself, honey he definitely does not have a "the comfy security of a home life and family with a caring empathetic loving person waiting for him. " omg, no one has ever accused her of that, quite the opposite! She is a crazy bitch that he only tolerates by going to sleep at 8 o'clock. whoo He isn't cake eating, I am. I am the one with the great home life, husband, living the double life. Om is wonderful, he has never made ridiculous promises. He stays for his own unique reasons as I do. I don't want to leave him for a minute. I just wanted to know how others deal with the jealousy.
FlamingPsycho, please do not respond to my posts.

I used to get so mad when ever he went on vacations with her. I can't tell you how to handle it, because I did NOT handle it well. He usually ended up lying to me about vacations. For example one time he said his wife and daughter were taking his grandson to Disney and his daughter couldn't get off work so he had to go. I was stupid enough at the time to believe him. Now I know how dumb I was. I know you said your situation is different because he hasn't made you any promises, but if he ever does, be careful believing them, just as you should be careful believing that they don't have fun together on vacation.

I was jealous. I met MM because we are both fans of a band. He has a better club member number than me so he of course gets better seats and SHE gets to go see them, not me :(

But I'm over it all now, I think, I hope! And while he takes her to the show I get to hang out with friends before and after and see the show and he goes to the show and then home and no parties and friends because he won't bring her. Whatever...

Im sorry rose! The caring, empathetic person waiting for him - i was referring to you! ;)

What a difference a comma would have made after "family" and before "with" (sorry!!)

I went off topic a little instead of answring the question. I apologize for that. Very emotional few days here and it was coming out in my reply. Didnt mean to.

Let me start again, if i may, in answer to your question, yes. I got jealous when he would go away with his W and son. I pictured them having fun and getting close because when you're on vacation and you're not dealing with the daily grind, you tend to be more relaxed and willing to enjoy yourself and the people you're with.

Sorry about my first response. I didnt mean to offend. :)

Hugs to you!

Rosewater - it is so understandable to feel like that. It's hard for many of us to just think about things like the holidays, Valentine's (or just bedtime at our OM/OW's house). Vacations are rough.

I have to echo what Redlegs said. I understand Rose, that you feel your situation is different since my OM and I have not made any promises to each other either. That being said, he usually complains about his W but there are peaks and valleys to any relationship and recently he said "if I didn't like anything about her, I wouldn't be with her." She's a crazy bitch too but he picked her and still lives with her.

Hugs!!! I feel your pain!

Yet another reason for me to end it totally, not half way. Why, oh, why was I stupid enough to think I could find the fairytale with a MM?

Be smarter than me!

I can definately relate... I am in a relationship with a single man. Everytime I have to do "family" things, he gets INSAINLY jealous. I had to explain to him that

that my family is a circle that I am very protective of. I really try to be sensitive of his feeling but it is what it is. I knew there was real trouble when after my mom died, he wanted to come to the funeral with my entire family. Long story short, he realized that would be disrespectful, uncomfortable and impossible. I keep clean hands in this relationship. i tell no lies and he makes the decision to stay or to leave. i tend to leave ALL family information out of our conversation and when he does ask questions about my H, I keep it "yes" , "no" or as shory as possible..then i change the subject.

My question is...how do you deal with the jealous person... when you are causing the other person's jealousy.

My OM started lying to me. That was how he dealt with it. Now that the truth has come out, I am furious and he is gone so I can't even take it out on him.

Sparkle, I think if he said to me that he would be thinking of me, wishing I was there and maybe one day that i would be, that would help me not be jealous. ???

I think one thing we can think of is how to exactly be able to get these vacations ourselves.

Sure you cant go on a full end weekend but there must be ways and ideas...

Rose, my OM said all that stuff to me. He would even bring me gifts back when he returned. It didn't help because he never followed through on what he said.