He is the only one that won't ever let us down. He's always there to listen.

Im sorry the talk with H went the way it did. It takes a lot of courage to approach him and say what your feeling. His reply seemed genuine but perhaps not exactly what you were hoping for. Try discussing again tonight after work. You can ask HOW he can be there for you and WHAT exactly you need from him. Maybe its more help around the house or with the kids. Or listening to issues going on at your job. Do you want a few hrs to yourself for some pampering, to see a movie, coffee with friends... And have him stay with the kids and give you a break. Be specific. Men are dumb ;)

Hugs to you

Does it help any if I tell you my H does the same thing? I have to think that some men can only process so much and then they have to get up and walk away for a while. He would go get a drink or go to the bathroom in mid sentence. If he isn't wanting to listen at all he only pays attention during commercials. THAT makes me mad. But if he is really trying to hear me, he still sometimes wants to just fix it and move on.

So you are not alone, if that means anything! :)

Oh I've gotten the - "can this wait for a commercial?" Another dumb ass lol
My H often replies where he twists my problems and talks about his stresses. So if i say, im so overworked, juggling the kids, school, homework, house, cooking, not having slept thru the night in the last 22 months.. Instead of just acknowledging and being supportive, he'll jump back with how HE'S also very busy with work and got up with the baby ... Ummmm... A week ago Tuesday!!!

I believe some men go into panic and avoidance mode when they hear the words, "can we talk". They want a quick fix and let's move on. It's very frustrating. Because I'll acknowledge him when hes had a rough day and give him credit when he's done a little extra around the house. But for some reason, im not awarded the same credit in return.

What made me so mad was that I had just begun the conversation. And I was crying. He can't help me cuz he is usually the cause. (he is ADD too)

You are not alone. You have all of us, Sweet Sister. I pray to The Goddess constantly. Without Her I COULD NOT MAKE IT! When I am at my absoloute lowest, and can only manage the following basic pray, Give me strength, Please help me. Strength and help always come.

Sometimes timing is everything when it comes to a conversation like that. Try it again at a time where you have no distractions, nothing scheduled coming up, and preferably no children around (even if you need to get a sitter). Then he will hopefully be able to give you his in divided attention and know how important it is to you.

***Undivided attention.

jaded, it was 7 am in the morning, lying in bed with no tv on, no distractions.

But the looming need to go to work probably made him reticent to get into a serious, involved conversation.

The wife and I have had hours and hours of conversation throughout our ordeal.

But, I will tell you, it sure seems like often after the kids are out and its is time to get ready for work, moments like you describe occur. Why? Why is it that some of the real meat comes when I have to leave?

Is it a test? Is it because if the coming separation? Is it just a coincidence? I don't know.

All I can say is it seemed to happen a lot.

So, why did you open up then? Could on some level it be to see if he will put his job to the side to show he is worthy of your faithfulness? Could it be because on some level you knew he is a creature of habit and would go shower and leave, and therefore prove once again he won't meet your needs?

I don't necessarily think I have a point other than to say, I have experienced this from the other side and maybe there is something that underlies why this happens other than the fact that he is a man?

Ok I erased what I originally wrote but will respond because I think goingtobeok says it best...
I think I am more like your H and I am the CS. My H wanted to talk to me but there were times it just wasn't the right moment or I didn't have the "hour to devote" to it cause our conversations would end up being that long. Then I felt like I didn't want to say too much because it would hurt him or I would say the wrong thing and send him over the edge. What someone recommended to me was picking a time when the two of you can sit down and talk and have it be for a certain amount of time.
This way there is no "surprise! I want to talk". I know for me if I am not up for it then the outcome will not be good. Then an argument pursues. Try asking him when he wants to talk and see what he says. Put the ball back in his court. Good luck Rosewater...

yeah my husband does the same thing, but he disappears for hours and i can't get ahold of him, how can we talk when you are never home? and you wonder why i feel so alone? i feel just like you, alone cause i am..

Why did I open up then? Cuz I had been laying there worrying about life and it just hit me. Worthy of my faithfulness? Prove he wouldn't meet my needs? LOL I wish I had the brain to put that much thought into it. It wasn't planned in any way shape or form. My problem with him is that he doesn't seem to put any thought into anything. Never in 30 years have I heard him sound concerned and/or worried about anything. He owns his own company. Someone opens up. It just shows me he is not connected, as usual.