FallenAngel

Well, mom died on January 17th, 2011 around 8:30 p.m.  She had been sick for some time but it still hurts.  I still haven't processed her death yet.  I'm going to miss her. 

Still riding the roller coaster of grief.  Most days I do well.  Bad days I don't even get out of bed.  I have no ambition to even clean the house, and believe me, It needs done badly.  I keep...

Oh how much I'm missing Gene right now.  I think of all the things I've been through since he died and can't believe I've gotten this far.  Now I need work done to my car and I don't know how to...

Well, we got the tree put up last night.  The kids all helped decorate it with me and I managed to not shed a tear.  It was hard after they left looking at it all lit up and knowing that Gene would...

Sunday afternoon and no ambition to do anything.  That means my mind goes straight to Gene and how much I miss him.  I wish I was stronger and could handle all this better than I am.  It's been...

The tears are falling and the pain is overwhelming.  I made it through yesterday ok, but today I'm falling apart.  I miss him so much.  How am i supposed to get through the next month.

Well, it's hit me hard today.  Thanksgiving is tomorrow and it's just one more holiday without Gene.  I've been crying most of the day.  Woke up crying, went to work, left early and came home...

Well, the new windows are in and they look wonderful.  But all I kept thinking while they were putting them in is how Gene was going to do it so he's been on my mind all day.  I'm dreading the...

Some days I think I'm doing so well, then I have a day like today when I can't even look at a picture of Gene without falling apart.  My mind says I have to go on, but my heart says differently.  I...

Had the day off today and decided to try and clean up some more of Gene's things.  He has a lot of coats that I thought would be useful for someone this time of year.  Turned out to be a big...

well, still have an hour left to go at work and trying to kill some time so thought I'd do a little writing on how things have been going.  My new meds seem to be working--I even laugh once in a...

I've been doing so well then all of a sudden today the tears started flowing and my heart aches for Gene.  No one will ever love me the way he did, and I him.  Just the thought that I'll never have...

Well, the new meds seem to be working but I've been so sick for the last week it just might be taking my mind off my troubles.  Not that I have any huge problems, I really don't.  Just sad and...

Spent a wonderful weekend with my girlfriend.  Went to the beach and hunted for shark's teeth, browsed the antique shops then went to my son's restaurant for dinner.  It all went too fast.  I was...

Having a bad morning today.  I had a dream last night that Gene was lying next to me in bed and I could actually feel his arm around me.  It was so comforting and so wonderful and then I woke up...