macksbaby
Status: Trusting Fate to lead me to where I belong.
Mood:
Ok
Offline
- I truly believe that Mack doesn't want anything to do with heroin ever again. I see the determination in his face. I see the hatred for the drug in his eyes. He has realized that he threw away all that was good in his life for the drug. But this...
- My addict wants to come home. It's been almost 3 weeks since he walked out on me. I don't think I'm ready for him to be home. I'm just starting to get used to him not being home. I'm starting to feel human again. I know he's still clean. But...
- I had, actually still having car problems. Mack being the man, has always taken care of the vehicles. And this past week was no different. I picked him up Friday afternoon to help with my poor poor car. It got late, we picked my mini me up from...
- You know it's really weird. You get so used to living life with your addict, the constant ups and downs, you forget how blissfully simple life can be without them around. Today is my day 7. I can't say this past week has been easy. I've had good...
- Mack has started to apologize again. He said he's broken. And that's he's not good enough for me. He said he doesn't know what's causing the rage inside him. He feels like he's in a hole and there is no way out. He said he doesn't know what...
- Today is not a happy day for me. I miss mack. I woke up crying again. I want the anger that I felt yesterday to come back. I know I'm doing the right thing. But I still hurt. His addiction killed us. It killed the man that he was. It killed...
- This addict is a total jackass! The day he packed his bags and left, he thought i was being so unfair to him and treating him like a child. He said I wanted to control him. I didn't want to control him. I wanted to be able to trust him again and...
- After everything with Mack, I can't stay here anymore. I'm going home to NY. I already talked to my mom. She has room for us. I talked to my boss. She will recommend me for a transfer. This weekend I will talk to my daughter's father. He will...
- Once again I thought I had it controlled. I was wrong. I can barely function this morning. I do have my meds, but I don't like taking them. I need to make an appt with my therapist. How the hell am I supposed to make it through the day?? I can...
- Woke up crying. Today is my first full day without him. I know that this is for the best. I know I can't compete with his addiction. I know all this. But it doesn't take the pain away. It doesn't make my heart understand.
- I'm devastated. I lost the love of my life to heroin. He's in recovery. Has been doing fairly well with that. But he threw a tantrum today because I wouldn't let him take my car and give him money to go play. He packed his bags and left. I'm...
- Well, I really don't know what to say. Today is Mack's 40th birthday. And we have split up. We never had our date over the weekend. He was sick. He was so sick that he even cancelled a birthday thing with his sons. And then yesterday afternoon...
- My addict turns 40 on Monday. I'm going to take him out tomorrow night to celebrate. Probably dinner, maybe dancing. Depending on how much energy his withdrawal riddled body can muster. I can't remember the last time we actually went on a date. I...
- Does anything help with the irritability and the sleeplessness of withdrawal? Is this a wait it out situation? Tried valarian root and melatonin for sleep. Does absolutely nothing. St Johns Wort seem to be helping with the depression. But not...
- I've had a fairly decent week with my addict. Today is his day 7 of being clean. Withdrawal wasn't nearly as bad as the last time he detoxed. He is very irritable though. And I have very little patience for his pissiness. One of the things that...