people always do what they most love. some love misery for some strange reason. it might be drug addiction, it might be booze, it might be depression. all that we can do is to release them to love life their own way.

this has taken a lot out of you. please take good care of yourself now because you have a bright future ahead full of happy times. :)

people always do what they most love. some love misery for some strange reason. it might be drug addiction, it might be booze, it might be depression. all that we can do is to release them to love life their own way.

this has taken a lot out of you. please take good care of yourself now because you have a bright future ahead full of happy times. :)

sorry about the double posting of my comment.

thank you. I can completely rationalize everything in my head. But my heart is still shattered. It's going to take time.

there is no need to take it personally. it is tempting to do but it overloads our emotions and it runs us down too much.

remember, you have to survive and take care of YOU. don't let anyone drag you down and don't think that you have to ever rescue someone. when we meet people, no matter what they say, believe me, they are happy as clams. so, if a guy is into drugs or booze or whatever and says that he is unhappy, he is lying. he loves his life just as it is.

be very careful. men can spot a woman who is TOO nice.

Oooh, you got that right. That was me. Too willing to put up with whatever crap came my way, and I've paid the price emotionally. Kick the user to the curb, get on with your life and don't look back. They will find someone else to take care of them. Poor thing.

I can only speak for myself.
Mine left me just over a month ago.
The first couple of weeks, I woke up crying every single day as soon as I regained consciousness.
Last week, I woke up and as soon as I became conscious, I put my head under the covers dreading another day.
Then this week, it happened most of the time, but I said a prayer, got out of bed, and had coffee. It helped me face the day.
Little things, baby steps.
It won't always feel that way for you.
It's hard when you love someone, honey, and they don't appreciate or care about you back. I know. But you're strong. You'll make it. This is very new, very raw. It will take time and all you can do is feel what you feel, acknowledge the feelings, allow yourself time to hurt (it sucks) and go on. Over time, it will get better for you, honest.

Mack


I am sorry for your pain-please know you are not alone. If our hearts could only catch up with our minds-we could move on.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvOyi6mYIWs

Sending you support and prayers!

I don't understand what you're going through, but I'm so sorry for your pain. I'm thinking about you.

Day 2. Already miserable.

I feel your pain so much. It is gut-wrenching, I know.

You will get through Day 2, and Day 3, and Day 4, and so on.

I KNOW it seems impossible now. But you can do it.

Sending moral support.

Your post actually inspired me to ask kg to repost the codependcy thing yesterday.

Due to many issues in my own life that need to be dealt with, and the turmoil that's created by twisted and varying opinions of what "love" is, it really hit home for me. You may not be there yet, but I read your journal yesterday and *I* can see it even if you do not.

Please re-read the thread because you. Really need to re-examine your relationships. The "love" of your life is a heroin addict, his love is the drug, *you* are suffering over *his* problem.

I am not trying to make light your feelings, just offering food for thought and a possible solution. Your suffering and grieving will not heal him or your relationship. It won't go away until addressed effectively.

Thank you. I read the poem. it is very real. I don't mourn the loss of the addict. He wasn't always the addict. I mourn the loss of the man I knew. The man I knew is gone. He was a good man. A good provider. A good father. My best friend. That is the relationship that I grieve. That is what hurts so deeply. I have learned to seperate the two. The man, not the addict, was my forever. But it seems Fate has another plan for me.

I know where you are coming from but just focus on the reason(s) why you left. It does get easier with time. I was terrible when i first left him and even though I still have bad days they are farther and fewer so keep going, we are here for you

I tried to look at it like it was a kind of death. The husband I knew was dead to me. He wasn't coming back because he didn't want to. He's OK with himself the way he is. It was a death for me. So I looked at it that way. Even when we mourn a loss we don't mourn it forever. We're sad for a while, but then we get on with life. You will too. An addict won't change unless THEY want to. And even sometimes then they can't change, or they become someone completely different.

Mourn your loss, then make a concerted effort to get on with the business of living.