GDJ1957

I hope the weather gets warmer soon. I am starting to get tired of winter. Bring on spring ! 

Things are slowly getting better. Still hurts about the loss of my friend. I am glad I have an Intensive outpatient program to go to.

I thought The pain of the emptiness was gone the other day. It isn't. The pain is always here. The pain never stops. The pain keeps taking from me. The pain is becoming me.

It seems like I have no feelings in me any more. I am just a shell of a person. Even my cutting is getting nothing out of me again. I don't even feel like cutting. I know that is a good thing but. I...

I don't know what I did. Now it just seems like life is not worth living. I hurt so bad right now. In every way possible. 

I am doing a little better with the cutting. I can't seem to stop but I wil take what I can. I have a lot on my plate right now. Some times it seems too much. But I keep slugging away at life....

I just called for an appointment with my therapist. Got her voice mail but will wait for call back. I know I need to talk to her.

I just tried to stab myself with a box cutter. Didn't work well. I want to try with some thing else. I know I shouldn't but I can't help myself.

grateful I can walk.

Just another long night with no sleep. I know I need to get some sleep. It is just so hard with all the shit going on in my head. I need to make an appointment with my therapist today. I need to...

I know I have said this befor. I need to get back here. I need to put my thoughts out of my head and in the open. Still going through so much. I need help.

Just trying to take it one day at a time. And turn it over to my higher power. The hard part is not taking it back. That is what I have to pray on the most.

I feel so empty. I thought I had a handle on this. I don't now. This emptiness is so overwhelming.  I feel like drinking but know I can't. This is the type of emptiness that I tried to feel with...

I need this depression to get better SOON !!

I know I cam't do it but I sure would like to hurt myself bad. I would like to stab myself all over the place. I think I am a fat slob and not worth the dirt it would take to cover this crappy body....