I know I cam't do it but I sure would like to hurt myself bad. I would like to stab myself all over the place. I think I am a fat slob and not worth the dirt it would take to cover this crappy body. I don't know why I am thinking like this. I have a lot of good things in my life right now. But I would still like to be dead right now. I have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow.  FUCK I hate feeling like this.