Gabrielle48

We are 9 mos from DDAY today.  that's enough time to create a whole new human being! This past week has been kinda tough.  Out of the 9 people living in our house most of us have been sick this...

For the most part the A's and the healing and the reconstruction of myself and my marriage are on my mind all the time and even now with all that has been going on this is still true but recent...

I have come to another understanding today about something else about me that fed into my A's.  I realized today that I do not like to disapoint.  I do not like to say no.  Not just to myself,...

I have not journaled in a very long time.  We are 8.5 mos post DDAY.  One thing I love is that I am constantly feeling progress in my/our healing and restoration.  It is a very long hard process...

Well....it has been 5 mos since DDAY.  The day my secret "second life" came crashing down around me.  The day I was plucked out of the fog I had been living in for 7 mos and placed firmly back in...

Well, I have cried the last 3 days in a row at least a little.  Sometimes I just can't help it but it is okay.  It is venting some of the sadness and pain.  It was not a despairing crying which is...

OKAY!  Day 2 of no crying which is a BIG deal because I saw OM in his car today and that used to automatically make me cry.  I also worked in a somewhat triggery place today and there were a couple...

I never cried today!Had a couple small bouts of sadness but not enough to make me cry.  Purposefully tried not to let my thoughts go too deep or morose today.  Shall I try for 2 days of no...

OM responded to the e-mail that H sent. (see previous journal entry)  He said that he is over me and was stupid to slow down and/or follow me in his car and that he will not do that again or pay any...

I am still struggling so much with what I did.  OM is not out of the picture since he has been shadowing me when I am in his area working.  H sent him an e-mail again threatening a restraining...

I have not updated since week 4 or 5.  It has now been 2.5 mos.  I have reached several milestones since my last update.The first happened in week 4.  I had been struggling mightily over OM....

I just posted this as a response to someone but I think it is a good journal entry for me today.  Here it is. "With DDay being only 4 wks ago I am still feeling so much pain and turmoil a lot of...

As I see it H and I have a common goal.  Marital unity and happiness; but we also have different goals to work on.My goal is to make sure that the things that led me to the A are far far behind me...

3 weeks after DDay.  I feel I am making progress.  As the CS I have to decide what my goal is.  What am I progressing towards?  1)First and foremost to never let that happen again.  2)To change...

 With me the reasons I had the affair start with me losing a lot of weight a few years ago. Feeling sexy and having men flirt with me was new to me. One man pursued me relentlessly and I already had...