tiger1962

It is only natural that my memories of Yan have been dominated by her last months in sickbed, which is really the source of sadness. Today I decided to start taking stock of memories of our lives...

My friend at DS Decibel posted a short film "The Egg" that really gives an interesting perspective about the fundamental human question of What is life about? The discussion is...

A friend of me and Yan has wanted to see me for sometime and, last weekend, he came from Orlando to the Chinese City Hanzhou for a conference. I flew to meet him. We have known each other for a long...

The idea of doing research on animal protection policy to honor my wife is to channel my emotions through the research, in order to help ultimately achieve the peace of her passing (see a previous...

I have been occupied with the memories about my wife since her passing. But weeks ago when I had a meeting about course scheduling at school, for about a hour I totally forgot her. That was the first...

I had been analytical pretty much all my life until my wife's passing. I was good at math in high school and I taught statistics and research methods at universities. My research is largely...

I heard some use the terms "active grieving" in different settings. Basically, it describes when you take initiatives in doing something in your grief. You make something happen in honoring your...

Got a call from US Consulate in Hong Kong, asking to register her death in order to prepare a death certificate. I got that from HK government. Apparently, for the paperwork in the US, I need one...

Past several days have been "normal" in the sense that cry became less, and I was involved, about 1 hour daily, in rewriting a research paper. On average, I probably cried about once a day but even...

Nonstop crying for a hour or two. Haven't had this bad for the past two months. Why? Why now? My rational brain: Beijing trip interrupting grief; forgetting the medication?; haven't had a major cry...

People say that trials come to everyone at least once in lifetime. My wife and my mom are two most important people in my life. Mom was having a pretty bad stroke in September 2014 in Beijing. One...

The past week was a little frantic --lunches and dinners with friends, preparing tax return, writing exam paper, counselling, scheduling BJ trip to take care of mom next week, badminton game. When...

Many say that the grief process will make me a person with more compassion. I wasn't quite sure how before. Yesterday came with the news a Germanwings flight crashing that caused more than 150 lives....

I had a good day yesterday when I completed and submitted the tax return. I live overseas but still pay US federal income taxes. Every year the tax laws change some. But this year the change is on my...

My wife passed 50 days ago. I went to the church in the morning. The program started with a singing group of mothers about 7-8. They all are quite young. Later a friend told me that they lost their...