Active Grieving
I heard some use the terms "active grieving" in different settings. Basically, it describes when you take initiatives in doing something in your grief. You make something happen in honoring your loved one. So I say the examples include-- running a marathon for cancer fighting, contributing to a foundation of the same causes, writing a grief journal, volunteering in honoring loved ones, etc. I believe that active grieving also involves some elements of GROWTH--spiritual growth particularly. So if your grief strengthens your faith or connects you with your inner energy, I would definitely call it "active".
My wife was an animal lover. In my mind, she still is. Last week I started working with a colleague to do a policy review on the national policies on animal protection and conservation. I am doing this in honoring the most important person in my life. Just thinking about this makes me excited. There are going to be hurdles as I know little about this area (I research on environmental policy issues but not animal preservation per se), but boy I feel so energized for this. I will make this the BEST research I've ever done. Would active grieving lead to better outcome of grief? I don't know. My counselor asked me to connect my emotional energy with my cognitive capability. I am seeing the sparks of that connection.
My wife was an animal lover. In my mind, she still is. Last week I started working with a colleague to do a policy review on the national policies on animal protection and conservation. I am doing this in honoring the most important person in my life. Just thinking about this makes me excited. There are going to be hurdles as I know little about this area (I research on environmental policy issues but not animal preservation per se), but boy I feel so energized for this. I will make this the BEST research I've ever done. Would active grieving lead to better outcome of grief? I don't know. My counselor asked me to connect my emotional energy with my cognitive capability. I am seeing the sparks of that connection.
Replies
As an animal activist myself . . . . \"kudos\" to you in honor of your wife!! Hugs, D
Way to go!!! Tiger you know your answer in your heart....\"Just thinking about this makes me excited\"....and the last time you felt this excited was.....OK Tiger get busy !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOVE LOVE LOVE your latest journal!!! While reading it I immediately thought of advice I was given. To find \"my passion\". Your wife was your passion just as my husband was mine. In their honor we must find a passion. I am a huge animal lover and always said if I were rich I would have 10 dogs. But I only have a much loved small dog. But he is my new passion. We go for walks every day for about an hour. Good news!! We have both lost weight lol , My Ron loved to garden. I just loved to cook. But this year in his honor I am going to have a garden. Starting small with only a few veggies. But I would like to think he would be proud that I at least try. Tiger your journal is good therapy and I feel it should be shared with the whole Site. So many have lost their passion and don\'t know how or where to begin in finding it. It would start an excellent discussion. Diane
Tiger,
It seems, this your way of integrating Grief for a Purpose, it also honours the memory of your beloved wife. That is an amazing thing to do. I am with you!
Keep us in the loop, please.....love to you......Sandra
Thank you all very much for the comments. I surely keep you posted on the progress of the research. I posted the entry at the main discussion board as Diane suggests. Hugs, Tiger
Your post made me smile. You have found something to feel passionate about. That is a important step in feeling Alive. Very proud of you!. Good luck.
I am vegetarian, so was Arlene - for ethical reasons. And of course our daughter has to go extreme Vegan, because she cannot even stand how eggs & dairy are produced.
I think of Arlene often when I donate to an animal welfare campaign, or discuss our vegetarianism. And people always ask that question, \"But of course you eat fish?\" I smile, they don\'t get it, yet. She was cynical about changing policy, and wasn\'t interested in convincing others. For her, it was a personal choice and stand, which is also meaningful. We rescued pets too.
Also when I help friends financially, I am honoring Arlene. We went through so much hardship together, some people helped us, I am paying it forward.
I surrounded myself with plants in my apartment after so many deaths last year. Some are not doing well, others are. That\'s life, and the truth every gardener knows. I\'m also probably trying to grow some plants that don\'t like being indoors, despite my grow lights & homemade distilled water. My prize avocado, which may be from one we ate together (even if it isn\'t I like to think of it as so) is doing well.
I look forward to hearing about your policy advocacy, your victories and also your defeats. It\'s an admirable and meaningful initiative, not just for you and in memory of Yan, but also for the impact it can have on the creatures & the world itself :)