Ellocin

so my evening has been pretty decent....but i'm confused... these stitches are driving me nearly up the wall...and i know i get them out tomorrow....but they are seriously driving me...

hmmm...yeah i was in a crap mood when i wrote earlier...wow...just reread it.  Crazy. Closing a file means that for the time being they are no longer willing to work with me.  It doesn't mean...

Ughhhh...yet another one of the files is being closed because I can't prepare to go back to work right now.  She was the one I was hoping not to have it closed with.  I don't know what to do.  I'm...

Dear God,I trusted that this med situation was going to be the right way to go.  I went through all the hell of withdraw from the other one, being off meds completely, and now giving this a try only...

the doctors think my constant high levels of anxiety are from the manerix so they are lowering the dose...i'm so fucking scared and frusttrated...i dont' want to do this battle anymore...i'm still...

i did end up being able to meet with my online therapist for awhile longer then i thought and it helped.  I shared one of my letters to God with her...and I think that helped her see why I struggle...

Depression group was cancelled tonight because they are "calling" for snow....good grief...around here you never know what's gonna happen weather-wise until it happens.  I was really looking forward...

Well...I got back from that appointment hours ago.  I'm not sure these "therapy" appointments are really doing it for me anymore.  All we did was talk and yes that's what I'm used to and that's...

Sorry for being away a few days without notice.  I ended up going into the hospital.  Friday ended up being too much and I went in my room briefly and was just so overtaken with anxiety and urges...

I was journalling in my notebook in the ER for something to do.  Figure I will transfer them all to here. Dec 4, 08: Entry 1 So the craziness begins...or technically continues.  I really didn't...

i am back home now again...i felt okay at the hospital after spending the night so i requested to leave...now i'm not so sure....i probably should've stayed... i ended up needing stitches...i don't...

i'm not really doing so well and contemplating a trip to the ER....the last place I really want to go...but I'm not sure at this point I have any other options....i'm cutting too much and too...

Dear God,How am I suppose to trust you?!  I know I've been told You never leave us...but well...I've rarely felt/seen you here.   How am I suppose to trust someone who I don't know?  And how do I...

i can't do this...i. have an appointment to be at in 5 min and i can't get outta my pj's...i can't stop hurting myself...i can't stop cutting i can't stop burning....i'm afraid if i leave my...

every day a battle, a challenge just to take another breath i had a hair appointment today...i should've enjoyed it...usually i feel like a movie star by the time I'm done...this time I couldn't...