Ellocin

I meant to get back on here and write more last night but I just was so tired that I couldn't even really think or process enough to actually write...even after my nap.  I just needed to relax after...

Woohoo!  Day 100, so mom and I celebrated with a pumpkin pie blizzard from DQ...yummy. Went to the ER this morning for my scan that they wanted me to do...that took about an hour and my feet kept...

So...uhmmm....if it's not a bad day mental health wise it's definitely been a good one physically.  I did go to my bloodwork and bought some juice to drink after so I could catch up on my...

I'm just getting ready to go get the bloodwork done but I am scared I don't want to even leave my apartment.  I feel like there is something really wrong with me but I don't know what and I don't...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zM10BLotaY   While I was on pass from the hospital I went with my parents for a drive and this song came on the radio. Pretty powerful words for where I am in my...

I'm home.  Not feeling back to normal yet but feeling better then the few days before I went in.  All I did though the whole time was sleep....and that's all I want to do now.  But they did...

totally lost it this morning and while my friend was out to see her daughter i told my roommate how i was doing and that i can't do another night here....so as soon as my friend's ride comes to get...

i know i didn't like it the other day taking 2 ativan but i just did again...i don't know what else to do...i already took my sleep meds and they haven't been doing anything....and i just feel so...

my friend is here for a night or two or three... i don't know if i can be here with her every night though...right now i want to give in so bad...i don't care if i live or die...i just want to stop...

still home...decided to try and fight it out another couple days at home...besides my friend with the marital issues needs a place to stay for a night or two..so gonna let her stay here.  just eaten...

Decided to try sticking it out at home a little longer...besides i got a couple appts tomorrow that i don't want to screw up.  One of which i would get fined if i had to miss it.  I've had even...

no one except my psychiatrist has bothered calling me back...and she thinks the hospital might not be a bad idea but is leaving it up to me...if i go i gotta go through the ER and i really don't have...

i don't know how much more of this i can take...i really don't...i'm trying to stay strong especially since this week is my sisters birthday and i want to see everyone...kind of...well...I don't want...

3:30am and yes I'm still awake....been a rough night totally but doing my best to stay safe and also to not use the ativan or sleeping meds.  My body is getting too dependent on them and I don't...

still feeling awful but at least starting to calm down and feel semi human again...although i still want to give in it's not as intense...so I guess the ativan is starting to do it's thing the...