cloudiness

Activity

• Physical & Emotional Abuse
  

  Hate Cycle

  Posted by: cloudiness

  Last Reply: prettypieces 07/25/2020

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  I may be struggling with cognitive dissonance. I thought I loved myself and there are things abt myself that are not so bad. But then I became aware I was afraid of turning out a narcissist like my abuser. So I started counteracting my positive self talk that I've worked on for years with not so nice things. 'You're being lazy', 'You have no talent' etcI relapsed in body dysmorphia big time.My abusive mother called Asian men ugly (me, my father, and brothers are all Asian guys)  that really...

• Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
  

  Discussion Comment

  Posted by: cloudiness

  Posted: 09/25/2019

  cloudiness commented on the discussion PTSD: Sexual Assault Warning.

• Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
  

  PTSD: Sexual Assault Warning

  Posted by: cloudiness

  Last Reply: mujicaptsd 09/26/2019

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  I got tested recently and naturally I was to answer a lot of questions about my sex life. When I revealed that I was actually a virgin the doc asked why I’m even getting tested at all. So I told them “I was sexually assaulted in the past.” It was the first time from my mouth I admitted to what happened to me as a kid. And it hurt. It hurt a lot. After my testing I spent the next half an hour walking aimlessly sobbing my eyes out. The thing is I repressed and dissociated heavily from...

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  Joined New Group

  Posted by: cloudiness

  Posted: 09/22/2019

  cloudiness joined the group Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

• Depression - Teen
  

  Discussion Comment

  Posted by: cloudiness

  Posted: 09/15/2019

  cloudiness commented on the discussion Past Sexual Assault.

• Depression - Teen
  

  Past Sexual Assault

  Posted by: cloudiness

  Last Reply: cloudiness 09/15/2019

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  So some old memories have resurfaced and it’s really hard. This happened years ago and I never told anyone. Now that I’m older and I have a better understanding of myself and the world it’s caught up with me. I would say in this day and age I am pretty sexually liberated with a lot of work behind that goal. But between my mother making suggestive comments about my private parts and the fear I felt having cis guys walk behind me I hit a big stop. The truth is that at age 12 I was...

• Physical & Emotional Abuse
  

  Cheating parents aren’t fun

  Posted by: cloudiness

  Posted: 07/19/2019

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  I haven’t posted here in a while becuz I’ve been a busy teen. And also becuz I’ve been hard at work with making my own happiness & I used to come here when I just couldn’t/didn’t know how to do that. But my parents celebrated their 24th marriage anniversary. & their marriage has been pretty shet for the past year or so. There’s already so much family drama that went on in the past few years. Estrangement, worsening abuse, abduction, stalking, sickness. And I was hoping me leaving...

• Transgender
  

  The ‘big day’

  Posted by: cloudiness

  Last Reply: WyndWytch 05/05/2019

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  So, prom season is happening. Everyone my age seems to working for their prom bods finding the perfect dress, putting together promposals. There’s probably a better term for this but ‘prom fever’ seems to be real here for a teenager attempting public school. But me I’m a single enby guy trying to make it in a transphobic home. The thing is that prom fever seems to have gotten to my deplorable mother. Now I see the appeal of prom & I think I would go if I had a date, or I didn’t have...

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  New Friend

  Posted by: cloudiness

  Posted: 03/28/2019

  cloudiness became friends with Anonymoususernam3.

• Depression - Teen
  

  I’ve had a life

  Posted by: cloudiness

  Posted: 03/18/2019

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  Way back when I made a post saying how I didn’t think I desevered to live up to 18. But a funny thing happened last month I turned 18.Somewhere along the line, I just sort of turned my life around. I realized that I had a bit of emotional baggage. For a lot of different reasons. Something just kind of clicked so I decided to turn my life around. I mostly stopped updating this acc becuz my college apps kept me busy. My life itself didn’t change much. The family is still broken and I still...

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  New Friend

  Posted by: cloudiness

  Posted: 03/11/2019

  cloudiness became friends with Quark.

• Depression - Teen
  

  Discussion Comment

  Posted by: cloudiness

  Posted: 11/22/2018

  cloudiness commented on the discussion So close to ending it.

• TeenDS: Teen LGBTQ Issues
  

  Teal

  Posted by: cloudiness

  Posted: 11/04/2018

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  This year has been hard on me. I’ve been on the receiving end of sexual harassment and stalking lately. I can’t tell my family or anyone close to them becuz some of this involves past non-straight relationships. The Kavanaugh, molkka situation, and rape culture in general has only made me feel even worse.I started to let fear and humiliation of the ppl who did these things to me take over and I was losing my own agency by doing nothing and letting myself feel ashamed for something that...

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  Well I feel like shit

  Posted by: cloudiness

  Posted: 10/28/2018

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  I hate it when my parents get into a fight over something that happened between them over 20 years ago. I know marriage is hard but bringing up something that had nothing to do me and my brothers seems so jacked. Maybe this is why my love life is really uncomfortable. . Since my parents were an interclass marriage and my mother is abusive. It’s interesting to think about. But they’re fighting again and I needed college help. Now I can’t get that help becuz of some stupid thing that...

• Transgender
  

  Discussion Comment

  Posted by: cloudiness

  Posted: 10/28/2018

  cloudiness commented on the discussion I didn’t know where else to talk about this..