Moirne

Tuesday my psych told me he thought I should double my dose of antidepressants. Wednesday morning I started the double dose. That night I barely slept. I was nauseous. This didn't surprise me,...

So. You know those spray cans with fake snow you can buy to molest the corners of your windows and play white christmas make-belief? Yeah. I won't be needing those this year. Oh, it's a white...

Short update!First of all I want to thank everyone for their support and messages! They help me a lot and I feel bad for not always being able to return this attention. The talk with my committee...

So after my last post I had this miraculous recovery where for a couple of days I felt like myself again. Of course not at full throttle yet, but at least it felt again like my actions were stemming...

Well, I already mentioned in my previous journal entry, but I am so sick and tired of dealing with depression and everything that surrounds it. I hate it through and through I despise it I detest it...

I guess in a way things are going well. I'm able to keep up with the lectures and study groups and student activities etc. Even though getting up in the morning was hard sometimes, I haven't missed a...

Basically in the past two weeks I've had ups and downs. Last monday my psych told me the level of lithium still isn't high enough so the dose is now up to 1000mg. And I can go for bloodwork again...

Even though I should really kind of update this journal since it has been a while, like for example how my blood drawing was pretty ok (well I still cried and there was still an extra nurse...

"Let me note all the sickening waste of today, that I shall not be easy with myself and compromise my tomorrows."-Susan Sontag, Reborn Journals & Notebooks 1947-1963

Even though I didn't feel very rested after I woke up, during the day it got better. I put away the laundry and felt interested in doing things. Even though I still can't make decisions for the love...

Talk about irony. Not even a week after I post the history of my diagnosis of SAD, it has been changed already into bipolar disorder II with seasonal pattern. Though I'm far from ecstatic about...

I have three weeks to write a paper of three pages using material that I already gathered a year ago. At the moment I find myself in the last week. The first page still isn't filled. Every...

I just re-read some diary material from my high school period. Wow. Major confrontation.Re-reading all those passages where I'm struggling and confused. Always seeing the corresponding dates above...

 February Was never more coldthan this moment. Everything has withered, dreamsand leaves are whirling downfrom your hair. No scarf can wraparound this, there are no wordsto throw around you that...

I ask myself if the predictability of SAD is a blessing or a curse. I can somewhat prepare for it and schedule my life around it. But knowing exactly what is coming at exactly what time brings an...