abusmc

I have been just coasting along since she left.  I have been struggling with going to work and coming home to an empty house.  all of her stuff is here and she is picking it up tuesady it has been...

it's been about six weeks since my wife left.  it's been the worst 6 weeks.  i found out why she left and who she left me for.  it's been rough her birthday and easter was in the past 6 weeks.  i...

it's been over a month and i'm starting to realize what went wrong.  when we met i was dying of cancer and we got marryed becuase of that which was the greatest time of my life.  but i didn't die...

i was doing better until today. my wife decieded that i was doing to well and she found a way to mess with my head. she decieded to tell me what she was doing with others while i was with her and it...

so its been a werid day i have taken her off all of my social media i have been trying to hold to somthing that was going to change.  i know what she did and who she has done it with its been rough....

It has been 3 days since I wrote but i have had good days and bad days.  the moments come and go.  I felt like I was doing good then she would come back some how and mess with my head.  I have...

I am trying to be ok i've wasted another day just trying to be "ok" i am for from ok.  i feel so sorry for my self becuase i see her "happy" with out me and she just left me in the dust i hate it....

So i have alot going on I have cancer, my son has cancer and my wife just left me.  waking up every day is becoming harder to do.  each day my eyes open i cry becuase i want all the pain to go...

so it's her birthday today i haven't talked to her.  i'm can't wish the woman i love to have a great day and i'm not with her.  it fucking sucks. i'm the fool on april fools day.  i want to hold...

So she took alot of her shit and it fucking sucked.  watching her leave and walk out of our home was rough i know i'm screwing up been i have been drinking since she left. and it's been aweful  

so It's been a day. not bad or good just ok.  which i'll take i have been more nervous becuase today she is coming to grab her stuff and i have to accept that she is gone.  she hasn't talked to me...

so last night was the first night i got out of the house since my wife left.  it was werid becuse it was to see kevin smith and jason mews.  it was supposed to be her birthday present she was a...

so i have realized how good she is at playing games.  on the 27th we had a talk and i fell for everything she had said thats becuase she needed somthing and again i did it becuase i love her.  and...

I feel afraid but I am not in danger! I am safe now, here in the present.  I was told when i have ptsd episodes to repeat that and for a while it worked I'm having another bad episode that last time...

so for the first time i didn't wake up at 230. woke up at 130 still woke up but different time, baby steps.  Can't remember if I dreamed about her so again baby steps.  I do miss her so much.  we...