AprilStar

Ugh.  I feel so confused.  Don't know what's happening anymore.  I think I've completely lost my mind.  I can hardly think, can hardly function.  I don't know what to do.  I'm lost. 

I cut again last night.  Haven't done that for months.  Don't know what came over me.  Don't know what I'm going to do.

I had an appointment with my counselor today.  We did something new.  It was a relaxation/hypnosis type thing; very different for me.  I'm actually surprised at how well it went.  I felt so much...

Hm, my wedding coming up.  I don't know how we're going to be able to afford it, or even afford to live for that matter.  Not that money matters to me at all.  My wedding will be wonderful solely...

I'm slowly dying inside and I don't know what to do.  I can't stop it, so maybe I should help it.  Life feels too painful to live, so why should I even try anymore?  I just want all of this to...

I don't know why but I just feel so alone right now, like I could be the only person in this world and I would still feel the same.  I feel like I'm living in this isolated place all to myself and I...

So, my first day on this site.  I was actually a member of this site a few years ago and just came back today.  I'm going to have to get used to everything here again.  Right now, I would really...

its so hard and my brain wont shut up its just so loud i want it to stop its screaming theres so much screaming and crying and it wont stop i need it to stop i dont know what to do i cant think...

**possible trigger** How do you it? Live day after day with the memories? The flashbacks? How can I get through a day? When those memories can come unbidden and without warning. In such vividness...

I wrote this after my appointment with my counselor today.  It's what Sarah (the little part of me) wanted to say but couldn't.  She was too scared, so she told me.  I want to send it to my...

Had another appointment with my counselor today.  Remembered some more.  I guess I've come to accept that even though I really don't want to remember, it's something I have to do.  But I'm so...

I had an appointment with my counselor on Wednesday.  During the appointment I remembered some things about my past, things that happened to me.  It felt like I was reliving it all over again. ...

Pieces Have to hold myself togetherI can’t let goOr I will fall apartAnd shatter into a million pieces Can’t let myself feelCan’t let myself thinkOr I won’t stay togetherAnd shatter into...

Just need to get some of these thoughts out of my head before they build up too much. It had been 7 months since I last cut myself.  And then I ruined it again 2 weeks ago.  I don't want to give...

Well, I got back from the hospital today.  I ended up there Wednesday evening after my appointment with my counselor.  So I was there almost a week this time.  My psychiatrist finally gave me a...