Hospital

Well, I got back from the hospital today.  I ended up there Wednesday evening after my appointment with my counselor.  So I was there almost a week this time.  My psychiatrist finally gave me a referral to a new psych. last week, so I hope she'll be better than he was.  If only I could figure out howto talk to them and tell them how I felt.  I know she really won't be able to do anything for me otherwise, but I just don't know what to say.  Anyways, she let me out this morning and I have an appointment with her next week.  I don't know if I should have left already though.  FIrst thing I did when I got back home was burst into tears.  Returning to the stress of everything.  Everything that already had to be done and everything that has to be done now on top of that.  I skipped class today because I just couldn't bear the thought of sitting through class for even 10 minutes today, even though I did miss a test because of it.  I just don't know what to do.  Well, I texted Tammie (she works for the university, but we've gotten to be friends) and she told me I HAD to make an appointment with Anna (my counselor) right away when I told her how I was feeling.  So now I'm meeting with Tammie and Anna in less than an hour and I just don't know what to do.  I don't think I'm doing any better than when I went into the hospital last week, if anything I've gotten worse.  I've just lost all hope of things ever changing for me.  And I don't care either.  I feel completely numb, and would do anything to get out of this place I'm in.  I just don't know what to do . . . We need a face worse than horrible . . . . :'(