AprilStar

I had an appointment with my counselor today.  We did something new.  It was a relaxation/hypnosis type thing; very different for me.  I'm actually surprised at how well it went.  I felt so much...

Hm, my wedding coming up.  I don't know how we're going to be able to afford it, or even afford to live for that matter.  Not that money matters to me at all.  My wedding will be wonderful solely...

I'm slowly dying inside and I don't know what to do.  I can't stop it, so maybe I should help it.  Life feels too painful to live, so why should I even try anymore?  I just want all of this to...

I don't know why but I just feel so alone right now, like I could be the only person in this world and I would still feel the same.  I feel like I'm living in this isolated place all to myself and I...

So, my first day on this site.  I was actually a member of this site a few years ago and just came back today.  I'm going to have to get used to everything here again.  Right now, I would really...

I wrote this after my appointment with my counselor today.  It's what Sarah (the little part of me) wanted to say but couldn't.  She was too scared, so she told me.  I want to send it to my...

Had another appointment with my counselor today.  Remembered some more.  I guess I've come to accept that even though I really don't want to remember, it's something I have to do.  But I'm so...

I had an appointment with my counselor on Wednesday.  During the appointment I remembered some things about my past, things that happened to me.  It felt like I was reliving it all over again. ...

Pieces Have to hold myself togetherI can’t let goOr I will fall apartAnd shatter into a million pieces Can’t let myself feelCan’t let myself thinkOr I won’t stay togetherAnd shatter into...

Just need to get some of these thoughts out of my head before they build up too much. It had been 7 months since I last cut myself.  And then I ruined it again 2 weeks ago.  I don't want to give...

Well, I got back from the hospital today.  I ended up there Wednesday evening after my appointment with my counselor.  So I was there almost a week this time.  My psychiatrist finally gave me a...

A sharp blade Slicing through her skin Drawing a crimson line Bringing her closer   Again and again Cuts getting deeper Her desire to die Leading her nearer   Blood pooling around Her...

I don't know what to do anymore.  I'm so tired of all of this.  It seems like I've been here so long, in this dark hole, and there's no way out.  There never will be.  Will I be forced to live...

Met with my counselor today.  It was difficult, expecially getting myself to tell her that I don't think I can keep myself safe.  But I did.  I was scared she was going to send me to the hospital...

I feel like I'm just saying the same things over and over again, but how much longer can this go on?  How much more until I finally give in?  How much more do I have to endure?  I can't fight this...