Ha ha ha

I am gonna go see a shrink once I am settled in with my BF, it just doesn't make any sense to do anything here when I am practically gone already. God, just one more month to go!!!

Scary haircut tomorrow eek. It will be fine. I have never had a bad experience at this salon. I just feel so ashamed of how crap my hair looks, but whatever, I will get over it.

Yesterday was a 5, which was frustrating because I was pull free until like 2 p.m. Then I started pulling and couldn't stop. I definitely had Robo-Hand. It felt like I was not in control of my own actions. Really distressing.

Really unfocused and unmotivated with everything right now. I'm not exercising either, which definitely is not helping my mood. Visiting a good friend this weekend though, so I have that to look forward to..

I love that report! There a lot more low numbers in there than I think you realize. You are only improving every day and learning more and more about this disorder so of course August will be great!! You will rock it! Haha I feel like we are never really adults or grown up and are always just faking it and hoping for the best so don't worry about those kinds of expectations. Procrastination is hard to avoid but try to do your best and know that the more you get done early = less stress = less pulling. Good luck with the new haircut!! Do what feels right :)

I feel a bit unfocused and unmotivated right now too. Blah. How did haircut go?

Your numbers are great, especially considering all the stress you have been under lately. Remember that the goal is just to improve, not to be perfect!

FINALLY, some good news to report here.

I am two days pull free. If I make it through today, it will be 3 days pull free. YAAAAY! FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY.

My hair looks GREAT. I got it all cut off. I have a bob cut now, kind of like a Keira Knightly look. It is unlike any haircut I've ever had before. I don't think I have ever had it so short. The irony is I have much less hair now, but it actually looks MUCH thicker. No need for the extensions anymore. Even better, my greedy little fingers seem to have no desire to pull any of it out, for now.

I will post some pictures later but I may take them down after a bit because what with Google Image search now you never know who might be Googling your face. : /

The haircut was SO EXPENSIVE but it was definitely worth every penny. As I only cut my hair about once a year, I am willing to pay a LOT more to have a good experience. The hairdresser didn't say anything about my hair, in fact, she was complimentary. She was like, "I love how you kept the natural color." She even said, "thanks for letting me cut so much of your hair off!!" I thought that was funny -- I was like, "um, you're welcome, I guess?" I think she was excited that she got to change my hair so dramatically -- who knows, maybe hairdressers get bored with all the people who walk in and are like "just a trim please!" This is the third time I've gone to this salon, so I guess they have a "file" on me now or whatever. So we didn't really talk about the fact that I pull my hair out as much as my previous visits.

Anyway, I am super happy with my hair, it feels like such a giant chip off my shoulder. Now I can "let it grow, let it grow" (sung to the tune of the Frozen song).

Now I just have to sort myself out at work, I am being such a slacker, UGGH!

Yaaaaaaay!!! Great news. I hope to see a pic. Enjoy!

That's awesome!! Congratulations on your success so far on your new hair! I love getting haircuts as a fresh start and I'm so glad it turned out so well! I've been debating a haircut as well but want it longer even though I'm in dire need of a trim... keep it up I bet it looks amazing!!!

Hurrah! I cut my hair short at last visit, and it feels so much lighter and comfortable. SO good you had a wonderful experience!

Stay strong, you're doing wonderful!

What an awesome update!!! I'm so glad it went well for you and you're happy with it...and the fact that it has reduced your urges is just an added bonus! I would love to see pictures!

How are you? I just tried for about a minute to think of a funny thing to say and I failed.

Hey how are you doing??

Ha ha ha Sam #funnythingtosayfail ; )

Well I wish I had good news to post but I don't really. Still been pulling. Yesterday I pulled a LOT, a definite 9, in terms of the Claudia Miles system. I didn't pull at all during the weekend, asides from 6 hairs, so at least there's that. This week I was pretty bad at counting, which is never a good sign for me....

I felt bad that I couldn't come back here and post some more good news in terms of sustaining a pull free streak. But obviously staying away hasn't exactly helped me either. Ahhhh!

Anyway, I am gonna try to FIGHT my trich again as opposed to just not trying. I want August to be better than July! Also, I have much less hair on my head now, as my hair is now very short.... I just can't be pulling mindlessly away!

Still been getting lots of compliments on my hair so that is great too.

What a battle, it never ends.

Oh noes you don't need to be feeling bad! Challenge those negative feelings! Hmm I'm struggling too. Writing a list of all the reasons not pulling improves your life helps. Yep, the battle never ends :( But yay compliments!

Staying away from here when you're struggling never helps, I think. It is great that you're getting compliments on your hair! Sounds like you are more motivated now because of your haircut!

Actually manda it's quite the opposite -- I was motivated for about 2 days to keep my hands out of my hair and since then it's just been pull pull pull pull pull.

Things are just not good right now. I wish I had better things to report. : ( I need to dig myself out of this giant mess that I've made, I don't even know how to start.