ChooseThisDay
Status: A pretty easy first month of sober. After being asleep for 2 years.
Mood:
Ok
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- Of course, the title of this post is to provoke discussion, but consider this: Disclaimer: This is my perspective as a man, and not a woman. This post may contain some perspectives that are validated by biology but totally rejected by our...
- How many spouses have had their sex addicts ask you to participate in abstinence for a time like 90 days? I am guessing the wives make this compulsory upon disclosure most of the time. But what if the SA said he needed it and you had little or no...
- I am curious, are you really saying you do not want to be intimate? Or is this a way you do not want to be sexual. Sex is part of intimacy but NOT all of it. I think 'whole' sex is the result of intimacy, not the definition of it. Here is the...
- I have lots of thoughts which I will share by responding to this post but I would like to invite others to do this daily and see how it affects our ability to deal with resentment. Please feel free to copy these three sentences and fill in the...
- Has anyone actually made and kept a sexual agreement for a time that worked. Doug Weiss, and RCA both advocate a specific sexual agreement to agree on a frequency, and then who initiates, and then follow it. So one of DW' criterian is that you...
- The question I am proposing is this. How do you address the shame that createst the fear that shores up the second core belief of an addict. "If anyone realy knew me, they would not love me." Here is what I think, and I am shockingly changing my...
- My therapist asked me to recommend the best book for my wife to read about Sa. I will not do this to protect myself from the resentment I will feel If she disregards this advice. But I would be very happy to pass along any suggestions from SOs here...
- Define Criticism: The tendancy to expressed disapproval by pointing out faults or shortcomings.So, I think when I ask for feedback or criticism, then I am at a place emotionally and relationally to respond rather than react to criticism. But when...
- Recently I had a conversation where the idea that SAs addiction express to their spouses that they are "Never good enough." This actually surprised me because that is exactly how I feel most of the time in my relationship with my wife. I am...
- "SEX ADDICTION IS NOT ABOUT SEX. It is about pain, it is about brain chemestry, and it is about core beliefs. When those things are addressed properly, the sex naturally responds to the righting of the relationship. That just might be the most weird...
- The other day, i noticed the thread "To initiate sex or not" thread in the healing spouses topic board. And I was kinda moved by the amount of pain this initiating (or not initiating) thing has caused our beautiful wives. I have always thought...
- http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/02/25/ep.sex.addiction.woods/index.html?hpt=C2What do you think? I particularly like the "you're a predator and an addict." Now everyone can be afraid of getting help. Here are some general ways to know you might...
- I would like to beat a dead horse again. I know of a young man who feels like the pull of sex addiction is taking hold, but has not close men or father figures to discuss these things with and help guide him into right thinking about these things,...
- For almost 2 years now I have been pretty passionately dealing with my recovery, not anywhere perfectly. Sadly, my sweet wife is still at step 0, "If you get your shit together, everthing will be OK, because I have no problems" I am not really...
- Has anyone read, discussed or considered the possible characteristics that seperate a Stage 1, Stage 2 or Stage 3 sexual behavior?In other words, is there any common attitiude, characteristic, or trait that can seperate a sex addict from a sex...